Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

Dear God,

Hi buddy, what's going on? I hope you remembered to hand in your study card last Wednesday, and that for once, you're not just taking four religion courses.

I'm not writing you, though, to inquire about your studies, but rather to request a favor. This afternoon, ya see, it'll be time once more to play football, Harvard-Colgate football, and just for a change, do you think you could give us a little sun?

Last week, when the Crimson squared off against UMass, you gave us a real loser. Drizzly, cold and I had previously lent out my umbrella. Aachoo!

Every Saturday in recent memory, in fact, has been for the birds. For the birds to fly to Florida, that is.

What's going on up there, anyway? Don't you like football or something? Yesterday, after all, was beautiful. The day before wasn't too bad, either.

I suppose there wouldn't be anything wrong with playing the games on another day, but that would be defying tradition, and the word down here is that you're into tradition in a big way. You know, they practice for five days, plan on the sixth and the rest on the seventh, if you catch my drift.

Actually, if you're really into making it rain on Saturdays, why can't we compromise? How about if you do as you please before eight in the morning and after four in the afternoon, but from eight to four, no wet stuff. You can't even get deals like that at Mars Bargainland.

Rainy Saturdays are a particular nuisance when one is attempting to execute the multi-flex. That's an offense where runners part from their positions faster than did the waves of the Red Sea and where it takes ten commandments to call each play.

Also, you have to remember that here at Harvard, no one goes to The Stadium to watch the game. The latter serves as an excuse to socialize and drink, but when it's spritzing out, it's more fun to socialize and drink in one's room. Especially when, like last week, the game is on regional television.

There you have it. You know I don't ask for much, so I wish that once again, you'd heed my request. I remember that you helped me out the last time I wrote, because how else could I have passed Fine Arts 13. Thanks a lot. See you around the campus, sport. Later. Love, Mike

And now I'll even the score by giving you this week's winners:

COLAGATE at HARVARD--The Red Raiders are good, maybe the best team Harvard will face all season. The Crimson, though, having vomited all over the field a week ago, is due to get better. Look for a close one, a few Restic innovations and perhaps a surprise at quarterback. Andrew Lavage, a good booter, will kick four field goals for the visitors, but that's all they'll get. Harvard 16, Colgate 12, and you're right, I'm a homer. Besides, I use Crest.

PRINCETON at BROWN--A good upset pick, as the Tigers have played well defensively thus far. But my father went to Brown. Brown 20, Princeton 14.

MIAMI (Ohio) at YALE--No, this is not a misprint. The Elis are getting cocky and playing Carm Cozza's alma mater. They might win, but I doubt it. Miami (O) 16, Yale 14.

PENNSYLVANIA at COLUMBIA--Asking the Lions to win two straight is like asking for sun on Saturday. Please, God, just once. Columbia 24, Pennsylvania 22.

DARTMOUTH at BOSTON UNIVERSITY--Now the next time the Big Green comes to Boston...Dartmouth 23, Boston University 3 (on a hat trick by someone named Meagher).

RUTGERS at CORNELL--The Big Red is getting better. They were just so bad to begin with. Rutgers 30, Cornell 29.

Last week: Seven right, one wrong (damn UMass).

Season: Eleven right, one wrong, and I just knew I was Group I in something.