Reds Top Capitalist Roaders, 23-2

Marx would have loved it.

From the opening kickoff until the last-minute pass play, The Harvard Crimson dominated the bourgeois fascist gang of four from the Yale Daily News.

The final score was 23-2.

The red-baiting cabal from New Haven started quickly on a revisionist path by tossing an interception into the waiting arms of Gideon "Dan" Gil, who hauled it down at about the 20.

From there the dialectical nature of The Crimson prevailed, as Marc M. Sadowsky led "the long march" down to the goal line. The big play of the series was a 45-yarder to Tom Aronson, who broke through a bunch of imperialist pass defenders, knocked over some running dog safeties and came in for six points and our daily bread.

From there on in the victory of the right-thinking mob was clear. The capitalist-roader Yale squad quickly fumbled the ball into the even hands of Charles E. Shepard '76-4, who was waiting on the fence, and ran way too long and had to be cut downstairs in the shop.

Snatch

A Shepard lateral to Mike Calabrese, the vanguard of solidarity, gave Engels and Bakunin something to cheer about. Even Mao would have chuckled in his crystal crypt.

Contacted early this afternoon in his grave in England, Marx declined comment on the Crimson victory.

But sources close to the decaying corpse said yesterday that the granddad of the student radical movement of the '60s rolled over several times when he heard that "his boys" had won yesterday's contest.

Sherman Holcombe, reached for comment in the freshman union dining hall last evening, said the Crimson victory "came too soon."

"They had a right not to pour on that au gratin sauce until at least two hours later," Holcombe said.

He added that he is considering filing a class action grievance with both the University and the National Labor Relations Board on behalf of the staff of the Yale Daily News in the wake of the incident.

The decisive blow was delivered by Steve Schorr, who, seized by the question "What is to be done?" answered Lenin's call by galloping 95 yards into freedom.

"Yale's team is like an onion," Sadowsky said in a paraphrase of Mao. "You may think it is dead but its heart is alive underneath that skin. The people are like the ocean," he said.

This was not the first 23-2 victory over the imperialist New Haven warlords.