Rock Steady

ROCK'S PROFILES *

(Pronounced R-O-C-K, like jock)

HOME: Cherry Hills, N.J.

AGE: 21

PREP SCHOOL: Camden Catholic

MAJOR: History

PROFESSION: Penn's all-time leader in yards per carry, Penn's best running back in 1974 with 790 yards, Penn's second leading receiver last season, Penn's record holder for most games with 100 yards or more rushing, and better than Adolph "Beep Beep" Bellizeare. You can look it up.

HOBBIES: Makes Big Money and prizes in his spare time selling attractive and useful seed packets.

LAST BOOKS READ: "Jocks Are Not All Dumb" by coach Harry Gamble, PhD, the Classics Illustrated version of the "Autobiography of Ben Franklin" and the Reader's Digest condensed version of "Talking to Your Plants."

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Sold 134 packets of "Petunias On Parade" and "Philly Phiodendrums" to unsuspecting members of the football team by charging them to their term bills. Jack got a swell walkie-talkie set and three dozen personalized golf tees shaped like naked women. "I'll have to learn how to play golf now," he said.

MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: By his own admission it was last Halloween. "The guys on the team told me that there was going to be this big Halloween party and that I should come in a costume. They were kind a giggling when they told me, but I figured they were just excited about it. I mean I was getting faced and eating corn and stuff... Anyway I had a tough time thinking up a costume. I couldn't go as a seed packet so I was stuck. Then I glanced at my roommate's bed and got a great idea. So I cut these two holes in his sheet and went as a ghost. Pretty clever, huh? I thought so, but when I got to where the guys told me the party was supposed to be, I rushed in through the door yelling "Boo" and moaning and stuff, but it turned out to be some alumni cocktail party for the class of '48 that Harry [Gamble] was at. Boy, I was pretty embarrassed. And my roommate was mad, too."

PROFILE: Quiet. Introspective. A leader on the field, in the classroom and door-to-door. Combines athletic ability with a quick wit and a subtle articulation of the intricacies of horticultural retailing. Feels that athletes are not inherently lacking in intellectual skills. Likes small children and his rabbit, "Bunsie."

QUOTE: I'm not dumb. You can be a jock and smart, too. And I'm better than the Bellizeare any day. Beep Beep, My Ass. And if you don't like it, I'll shove your face into the floor."

FAVORITE DRINK: The Franklin Fizzie (one part Dewar's Scotch, one part Hood milk, a dash of Quaker oatmeal, a cherry fizzie and a scoop of scrapple).

* With apologies to Dake.