Rookie Dave Wilson Cops Top 'Cliffe Pinball Award

Dave Wilson, a rookie flipper from Currier House, was named "Radcliffe Pinball Player of the Year" at the first annual Pinball Awards banquet yesterday in Currier House.

Wilson amassed 143 points en route to his razor-thin victory in an election open to Radcliffe pinball addicts. Rick Climan, also of Currier House, copped second with 133 points, while North House's Frank Mears finished third with 127 points.

Wilson has been a steady performer on the Radcliffe pinball circuit all season long. His records include high ball and high game on "Flying Carpet," high game on "Swinger" and a phenomenal high game of 524,000 on "Fan-tas-tic."

Runner-up Climan, the pre-election favorite, was too overcome after receiving his award to make a speech. "Fraud," he managed to blurb.

Commenting on his victory, Wilson said, "We've brought Radcliffe pinball a long way this year. No one can call us wimps and twerps anymore." Wilson boasted that Radcliffe's top five players could demolish any Harvard House team "index fingers down."

Greg Rosenbaum, Quincy House pinball mentor, yesterday questioned the ability of Radcliffe players to hold their own in Harvard House competition. "Quincy has long been the center of quality pinball on this campus," he said.

"Radcliffe men think they're hot stuff when they beat two-bit machines like 'Outer Space.' Wait until they run up against some big-league apparatus, like 'Straight Flush,'" Rosenbaum said.

"Eight-ball" Mears, third place finisher, denied yesterday that Radcliffe men discriminate against female pinball players. Mears explained the presence of only one woman, Debbie "Ego-crusher" Sheets, among the top ten vote-getters by saying, "Females have a marked tendency to eschew the Radcliffe pinball environment."

"Perhaps they don't like the smell," Mears speculated.

A scandal of major proportions marred the otherwise smooth awards ceremony. An enterprising newspaper reporter noted that Frank Kulash, chief election commissioner and curator of the Radcliffe pinball Hall of Fame, was guilty of conflict-of-interest in certifying himself as the fifth place finisher in the election.

Kulash expressed indignation over the conflict-of-interest charge. "Neither myself nor any present member of my staff is guilty of wrong-doing," he said.