The Mail 'CYCLOLOGICAL PROBLEMS'

To the Editors of the CRIMSON:

Before reading your October 13th article by Dr. Armand M. Nicholi on the "Motorcycle Syndrome," I thought I was a relatively well-adjusted individual. Now I realize that my outwardly confident, competitive behavior is, in fact, a cover-up for deep-seated cyclogical problems.

I thought that I drove a motorcycle because I like to drive a motorcycle; now it is clear to me that this is only my way of resolving my fear of my father and my unnatural attachment for my mother. I thought that my primary anxiety about the motor-cycle was that someone would steal it off the streets; now I realize that this anxiety is only a sublimation of my castration complex. I thought my girl friends loved me for myself; now it turns out that it was only my motorcycle they wanted all along. One thing that does not fit is that these girls have all had rather skinny shoulders, and none of them have ever let me park my motorcycle in their garage. However, I suppose such deviations from the normal syndrome are to be expected in the world of science, even when research is based on an exhaustive sample of nine cases.

Hopefully, Dr. Nicholi can be encouraged to expand on his critical analysis, offering insights into other forms of transportation. For example, what is the significance of my also driving a sportscar? What about my sailboat (now that I think of it, the mast is certainly quite phallic)? What permanent damage to my personality might be caused by my riding the MBTA??

A motorcycle just drove by my window, enveloping me in fantasy and curtailing this profound speculation.