An Explanation

The editors of a newspaper are deluged with white, brown, yellow, and multi-colored envelopes bearing stamps such as "Rush--News," or "For immediate Release." These are press releases, some of which eventually are transmuted into stories in the paper.

Most, however, wind up in the wastebasket, unseen by anyone except the poor soul who must open them. Conscious of this vast waste, the CRIMSON today presents a collection of choice news releases received on Friday. The releases are exactly as we received them; not a word has been changed.