A FABLE

To the Editors of the CRIMSON:

I, too, have some views on the Harvard tutors who were at Shaw University last summer. Those views are expressed in the following fable:

In the land of Detinu Setats there are two major ethnic groups: the Dolichocephalics and the Brachycephalics. In that fair land there are also two major regions: Eeknay and Leber. Since everything there seems to run in pairs, there can also be found two major types of educational institutions: PDI (Predominantly Dolichocephalic Institutions with 98 per cent of the student body dolichocephalise), and PBI (Predominantly Brachycephalic Institutions with 98 per cent of the student body brachycephalics).

Rahdrav, in the region Eeknay, is PDI. Wahs, in the region Leber, is BPI.

Now the Dolichocephalics outnumber the Brachycephalics nine to one. As an overwhelming majority, they have made the laws, written the history, and controlled the land. Through a distorted history designed to belittle the role of the brachycephalics, the dolichocephalics have built up within themselves a sense of superiority. The Eeknayian Dolichos feel superior to the Leberian Dolichos who, in turn, feel superior to all Brachys. The Rahdravian Eeknayian Dolichos, finding no man on a par with them, feel that only God is their equal.

In spite of this, a group of Rahdravians consented to come to Wahs in the hope that some of their "superior" education, "superior" way of life, and "superior" superority could be instilled in the Wahsites.

This sense of mission had its motivation in a study made by two of their professors, a study remarkable for its statistical manipulations and its quickly reached conclusions. As to the first, we respond with the words of Kram Naiwt: "There are three kinds of lies: white lies, plain lies, and statistics." As to the second, we class the two professors with those "experts" who write books on foreign countries after a two-weeks visit.

The article which became the Bible for the Rahdravians who came to Wahs appeared in The Rahdrav Review under the caption: "BPI's--The Big Zero." It was based on a two-day tour of 120 BPI's and statistics gathered from outdated sources.

The Rahdravians, coming as missionary totors or tutoring missionaries, had another piece of knowledge which they considered valuable. It was an article by another Rahdravian professor on "The Brachycephalic Family." In discussions on family life, this article received more prominence as the gospel truth than the fact that the brachy students were members of brachy families.

In session after session the tutors warned against any effort on the part of brachy students to usurp dolicho values. These values included organizing social clubs, participating in politics, driving cars, and walking erect.

As the summer progressed resentment grew on both sides. It was a resentment based on "we-know-you-better-than-you-know-yourselves" vs "you-have-to-be-a-dolicho-to-know-one."

For some six weeks the struggle went on. Then the Rahdravians returned to Rahdrav and wrote their version of Wahs and the Wahsites. In essence the report said: "The Wahsites want to create a Dolicho/Brachycephalic society. This is impossible. They want to imitate us. They talk about war and peace, sex and miniskirts, religion and communism. They eat with forks and have parties. This is pure imitation. Because they are copying us rather than being creative, they are zero, one Big Nothing. Our professors were so right."

From the Wahsite Brachys we hear a chuckle and the remark: "Dolichos are really funny." John W. Fleming   Director of Admissions   Shaw University