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Yes, There Is A January

By Faye Levine

Certain people in this community have been uttering disparaging remarks about "this time of year," the CRIMSON learned last night. The sidewalks, Soc Sci papers, and life, have been among those items singled out for attack.

However, University Information countered in a telephone interview last night, these allegations are entirely false. January is a happy month, they revealed. All over the world, all throughout history, this time of year brings joy and gladness to hearts in every walk of life.

For instance, just to point out the obvious, White Sales are this month! Carnegie Tech in Pittsburgh is holding their annual drama competition right now. Just two years from next Sunday the American people will inaugurate a president.

Every weekend from now until February 26 there will be Calypso contests in Trinidad. The manufacturers of bicarbonate of soda have selected this month as "Break-A-Cold" Month.

Investments in most banks during this week will still earn interest from the beginning of the year!

Last week was University of Detroit Silent Record Week. The Dartmouth Winter Carnival perhaps takes place this month. Oysters are edible.

On Friday, January 25, there will be an annular eclipse of the sun, visible in Africa, South America, and Antarctica. Citizens of Kentucky will celebrate FDR Day on January 30.

The Year of the Hare begins a week from Friday. People in South America are now having summer vacations.

And best of all, the coming seven days will mark Winter Sports Week in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany!

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