Harvard Gets Elephant Race Bid; Officials Doubtful We Will Enter

While casually perusing our mail yesterday we were rather startled by an invitation to enter the first U.S. intercollegiate elephant race to be held on May 11 at Orange County State College in Fullerton, California.

The boys at Fullerton were alarmed at the number of colleges dropping football for financial reasons and decided that elephant racing would provide a cheaper substitute and prevent "huge stadiums" from lying "idle." Several colleges around the world have been invited to this premier race, including Harvard, Yale, Smith, Oxford, and Moscow.

Intrigued, we called Fullerton and found out that, yes, there is such a school, and yes again, they are dead serious about the race. As of now they have two entrants--Orange State and the U.S. Coast Guard Academy--and Oxford has expressed "interest."

The whole idea started when an assistant dean circulated a model constitution for student organizations and called it the charter of the Elephant Racing Club. Everett Moore, a math senior, quickly formed a club and issued race invitations.

They currently plan to run a five mile freestyle, a four mile Behemoth Bop, and a three mile Tusking Trot. Competing elephants will be lodged at nearby Disneyland.

Harvard participation in such an event would involve several problems, however. For one thing, the Faculty Committee on Athletic Sports hasn't decided If Harvard can compete, as many of the Mahout (drivers) probably would come from the African Junior E League, which has dubious amateur standing. Also, since the racing would be done in the Fall, many western schools would probably have Spring Training, something the Ivy League finds distasteful. Then, of course' the ageless problem of ticket distribution would present an explosive policy decision.

Baaron B. Pittenger, Director of Sports Information, doubted Harvard would field an elephant varsity, and felt "the ponderous pachyderms" of Coach John Yovicsin's football line were the biggest things Harvard could muster.

Yovicsin himself saw little future for the sport as a football substitute in the Ivies, as "we're on the way up now and getting better every year. The trend is back to football," he indicated.

Entry forms, which are available at the CRIMSON, call for information on the disposition of the elephant in question and the brand of peanuts preferred. All entrants must be properly groomed, and toenails must be cut to avoid injury to other racers. All entrants will be insured for $200,000 against crushing damages.

The Coast Guard, whose mahout is Lt. Jr. Grade Arthur Moore, is currently the favorite on the basis of three years racing experience (we don't know where, though) on the elephant Whitey.

The natural herding disposition of elephants may present some difficulties. The school with the oldest female will have a nearly unbeatable advantage. Further, elephants hate bright light. The big fellas normally move at about 8-10 mph, but when aroused can sprint to 25 mph. They have to be pretty damn mad to run, however.