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Garber Privately Tells Faculty That Harvard Must Rethink Messaging After GOP Victory
1. Don't believe people who tell you that it really doesn't matter what House you get into. The House you live in will have a profound effect on your entire future. Just think of the deep and lasting influence of having lived a year in Stoughton as opposed to Holworthy or Wigglesworth instead of Thayer and multiply by three.
2. Believe all House stereotypes. If the stereotype exists there must be something to it. The same goes for rumors.
3. Trust first impressions. The most important thing about a House is not whether you enjoy living in it for three years but whether your friends think you do. A House must impress your dates, your parents, your out of town guests. If it impresses you after one hour, it will probably impress others.
4. Apply to the House all the other freshmen are applying to. That way you'll be disappointed. It is important to get used to disappointment early in life.
5. Apply only to Houses with modern bathrooms. A house can't be much good if it doesn't have modern bathrooms.
6. Beware of people who say that Central Kitchens food is pretty much the same as food cooked by a House itself. Central Kitchens food gives you cancer.
7. The most important man in your three years in a House will be the superintendent. Apply to a House with good student-superintendent relations.
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