Christmas Crisis

The Christmas Doctrine of this paper, as set forth over many years, has always been based on the following facts: 1) Christmas falls on the twenty-fifth of December, and not before. 2) Little colored lights are not in any way an adequate celebration of that date. 3) Those who do not acknowledge facts (1) and (2) do not understand the Spirit of Christmas. 4) Christmas must be left to those who do understand its Spirit.

It has now come to our attention that an unfriendly group has deliberately attempted to subvert this Doctrine. Low-altitude photographs taken over Massachusetts Avenue only last Wednesday furnish firm, clear, and undeniable evidence that on the thirty-first of October agents of the Harvard Square merchants strung up several strands of offensive colored lights along the Avenue between the Square and the Harvard Spa.

In view of this provocative, hurried, and clandestine build-up, the CRIMSON is forced to take the following steps: 1) We call upon Harvard Square officials to remove these offensive lights without delay. Refusal to do so will justify immediate further action. 2) We are seriously considering convening an emergency session of the Harvard Council on Undergraduate Affairs to consider these further steps. 3) Our forces have been put on a Stage Two ready-awareness footing. Small stones have been issued.

We finally remind these merchants that our actions are not a destruction of light, but a vindication of right. God willing, Christmas as we know it will not perish from this Square.