Tealeaves and Taurus

The annual shipment of fortune cookies has arrived, slightly damaged, from Sinkiang Province, and the seers of Plympton Street have donned their sacred crimson robes to scan the crumbs for omens for the coming year. Meddling by Customs officials made some of the scraps nearly unreadable, but the CRIME has been able to put together the following somewhat sketchy prognosis.

JANUARY

Kennedy continues decimation of Harvard faculty with choices of Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr., as Commissioner of Internal Revenue; Elliott Perkins as Director of the National Park Service; William Y. Elliott as Director of the Tennessee Valley Authority; John Yovicsin as Coach of the White House Touch Football Team; and John Kenneth Galbraith as Ambassador to the Revolutionary Government of Ethiopia.... Pusey says that he is "pleased as punch and proud as a peacock," and makes plans to attend the inauguration.... Frank Sinatra's "Inaugural Gala" features the Harvard Band and Glee Club, and makes so much money that even Foster Furcolo's debt from his primary campaign for Senator are paid off.

FEBRUARY

Pusey is reported tiring of his work as acting Dean, and casting about for a successor to Bundy. Perry Miller and Arthur Maass are consideed among the front runners for the position.... The State Department announces a new stamp to appear on all American passports: THIS PASSPORT NOT VALID IN COUNTRIES WE DON'T LIKE... Castro protests the designation as "provocative." ...Harvard, unsuccessful in its attempts to purchase the MTA lots, finally buys the entire MTA system. Governor Volpe hails the move as the "renaissance of private enterprise in the Commonwealth." ...Athletic Director Bolles, looking for a new football coach, says he is "seriously considering" Dean Watson.

MARCH

Bobby Kennedy's Justice Department has Jimmy Hoffa indiced on 217 separate counts, ranging from conspiracy to obstruct justice to lascivious carriage... The Classics Club production plays at the Loeb Drama Center before audiences of 25, 16 and 12. Stephen A. Aaron '57, eminence grise of the Center, terms the turn-out "somewhat disappointing." ...The biggest blizzard in history hits the Boston area, crippling the MTA for three months. Arthur D. Trottenberg, new director of he system, says (every day) that he expects service to resume "any day now."

APRIL

Sources in Massachusetts Hall report that the "classic clique" close to Pusey is booming Sterling Dow for Dean of the Faculty. Dow refuses to comment.... Foster Furcolo takes a job as "Critic at Large" for the Boston American. Leverett Saltonstall terms the appointment "completely incredible" and calls Furcolo a "dirty Yalie." ...Robert Chapman, Director of the Loeb Drama School, announces that a touring company of "My Fair Lady" will play in the Loeb during spring reading period.... Bolles, still looking for a football coach, says he is "seriously considering" Ted Kennedy.

MAY

President Kennedy gives daughter Caroline and son Jack, Jr., exclusive right to play house on the White House Lawn. The Chicago Tribune dennounces the action as "nepotism" and quotes extensively from Woodrow Wilson's letter to his brother, refusing to appoint him postmaster of Nashville, Tenn.... Trottenberg still says the MTA will be running "any day now".... Bundy completes his reorganization of the National Security Council and announces another Harvard appointment: Carle Tucker as director of the new NSC cafeteria. Furcolo in his American column decries the selection and Bundy. "Mr. Bundy is not just a bad administrator," Furcolo writes, "he is a wicked man."

JUNE

Pusey is still looking for a Dean and promises some action before the University opens in the Fall. Reliable sources indicate that the President is considering appointing a group of Assistant Deans and letting them choose their own boss.... On June 10, in time for Commencement, the MTA starts running again.... The University grants honorary degrees to Casey Stengel, Brendan Behan, Francoise Sagan, Everett McKinley Dirksen and Al Capp ... Muscat declares war on Oman. The State Department says it would "view very seriously" any Soviet intervention. Soviet ambassador Menshikov replies, "Who's intervening? Who even cares?" "Provocation," says Castro.

JULY

Summer school opens in unprecedented pageantry, and rumors circulate that Thomas Crooks is a leading candidate for Dean of the Faculty.... The Soviet Union is still dropping supplies to leftist rebels but the rebels can't catch them and thus make little military progress. Castro demands resumption of diplomatic relations with the United States, saying he's tired of channeling his insults through the Swiss embassy.... Bolles, still looking for a football coach, says that he is "seriously considering" Charlie Ravenel, and promises an appointment before the Yale game.

AUGUST

Dean Watson becomes Master of Dunster House and is thus eliminated from consideration for football coach and Dean of the Faculty.... The Soviet Union puts a man in orbit around the earth. Khrushchev declines comment on reports that the space traveler is Mao Tse-tung. The United States, aiming for the moon, lands a man in the Congo.... Kennedy, in a televised press conference, announces that "this country is moving again." ....Eisenhower, in retirement publishes a book on Cuba called "Listen, C. Wright Mills!" Castro, whose vocabulary is becoming limited, denounces the work as a "provocation" ... Harvard still needs a Dean and a football coach.

SEPTEMBER

In a surprise announcement Pusey makes Seymour Harris Dean of the Faculty. Harris promises 'bold, aggressive action" within a hundred days.... In another surprise move Leo Durocher is appointed varsity football coach. "I know it's a bit bizarre," says athletic director Bolles, "but Leo is our type of fellow." ...Ted Halaby is the quarterback, as the varsity football team loses its opener.... An HDC member dissatisfied with the fall roster of plays blows up the Loeb Drama Center. Dean Harris says it will not be rebuilt, but will instead serve as a playground for the newly established Harvard Nursery School. The opening of integrated schools is marked by demonstrations in Atlanta, Tallahassee, Mobile, and New Rochelle, N.Y.

OCTOBER

Dean Harris, in a letter to the CRIMSON, announces the purchase of the Commander and Continental Hotels as the Tenth and Eleventh Houses. He also indicates that the University-operated MTA will soon raise its fare to 50 cents, in order to finance a "dynamic expansion program" for the College. From his temporary headquarters at Yellowstone Park. Elliott Perkins issues a statement blasting Harris for "distorting the ancient traditions of the University." ...Grady Watts, Chuck Kinney and Halaby all play quarterback, as the varsity football team drops five more games. Coach Durocher says, "We're building character, I guess."

NOVEMBER

On the day before Election Day, Mayor Wagner of New York announces that he is a candidate for re-election, but is resoundingly defeated by a reform ticket headed by Carmine DeSapio.... Unable to find a quarterback, Coach Durocher switches to the single wing, and the varsity football team overwhelms Princeton, Brown and Yale. Meanwhile Yovicsin's White House squad goes undefeated, although it has trouble with a Justice Department eleven paced by Bobby Kennedy's seven children.... Dean Harris reveals "tentative though definite" plans for a new Harvard-in-Washington campus, to be headed by ex-Dean Bundy, on a part-time basis.

DECEMBER

The State Department recalls Ambassador Galbraith, after discovering that for the past five months there has been no Revolutionary Government of Ethiopia.... Richard M. Nixon, in his first public statement in more than a year, says that a careful analysis has convinced him thot his electoral defeat was due to poor make-up. Commissioner Schlesinger hails the solution of Nixon's "identy crisis" ....Dean Harris announces the acquisition of the Statler as the Twelfth through the Twenty-First Houses.... To forestall further expansion of the University Perkins declares Harvard and the entire Cambridge area a National Park. Dean Harris and Al Velucci, in a joint letter to the CRIMSON, protest the move as "high-handed" and "unconstitutional."