Egg in Your Beer

Local football followers will doubtless read with surprise this morning the results of this week's Associated Press football poll. Astonishing as it may seem, the so-called experts whose opinions are recorded by the A.P., have completely ignored the rightful claim of Harvard to be recognized as the best football team in the country

The startling fact is that Harvard not only was not ranked first, not only was not ranked among the top ten, but (hard as it is to believe) did not receive one vote from a single "expert!"

Louisiana State University was voted the number one position, with Iowa in the second spot, and Army third. And yet just a quick glance at the records will reveal that the Crimson is some 248 points better than Army, 225 better than Iowa, and 258 better than the pretenders from LSU.

What's that you're saying? You know Harvard is good, but you didn't think that good? Well, just pass your eyes through the following little statistical exercise....

Harvard beat Dartmouth, 16-8, and therefore is 8 points better than the Indians. Dartmouth beat Holy Cross, 8-14; Harvard thus has a 2-point edge on the Crusaders. Holy Cross defeated Syracuse, 14-13; and so the Crimson has 3 points over the New York State team. Syracuse crushed Cornell, 55-0, making Harvard 58 points better than the Big Red.

(Surely you've got the general idea by now and won't object if we use an abbreviated form for the rest of our calculations. We'll record a game such as the last mentioned by simply saying: Syracuse over Cornell by 55 (58)--the figure in parentheses representing Harvard's advantage at any given point in the process.)

Cornell over Princeton by 26 (84). Princeton over Colgate by 27 (111). Colgate lost to Yale by 7 (104). Yale lost to Brown by 6 (98). Brown over Rhode Island by 41 (139). Rhode Island over Brandeis by 30 (169). Brandeis over Springfield by 22 (191). Springfield over Northeastern by 2 (193) Northeastern over Massachusetts by 12 (205).

Massachusetts lost to B.U. by 14 (191). B.U. over West Virginia by 6 (197). West Virginia lost to Indiana by 1 (196). Indiana lost to Notre Dame by 18 (178). Notre Dame over SMU by 8 (186). SMU over Georgia Tech by 20 (206). Georgia Tech over Tulane by 14 (220). Tulane lost to Texas by 1 (219). Texas over Georgia by 5 (224). Georgia over Florida State by 15 (239). Florida State over Tennessee by 10 (249). Tennessee over Mississippi State by 5 (254). Mississippi State over Florida by 7 (261). Florida lost to LSU by 3 (258).

258 points means 40 touchdowns, give or take a few. That's an average of one score every minute and a half. Why, a game between Harvard and the so-called "best team" from Louisiana would prove the biggest bore since Adams House beat Notre Dame two years ago, 311-6. They might even have to put in the Stadium peanut-vendors to keep the score down.