The Wild Ones

It was with a deep sense of relief that we learned of President Jordan's crusade to save the spiritual and physical lives of his Radcliffe cyclists. We must congratulate President Jordan on his recent statements urging his flying phantoms to be more considerate of the more pedestrian Cambridge residents.

Although safety was the underlying cause of President Jordan's concern, we hope that the more aesthetic horrors afforded by women on wheels added to his fear What could be a more terrifying sight at nine in the morning than a shaggy-maned mannikin with powder-glazed eyes swirling down Mass. Ave. like a fugitive from a broomstick brigade? Such a sight has sent many an Advanced Standing Freshman reeling into academic probation besides delaying his emotional maturation.

Aside from the horror element in Radcliffe cycling, it is a strong detriment to young love. For example, in the days of Kittredge, and those were the days, Harvard-Radcliffe couples could follow the course of true romance while walking down Garden Street. But nowadays, the bicycle has turned romantic love into mechanized warfare; sentiment gives way to slaughter.

But it is more than the effects of female cyclists which are evil. Their motivations are of the worst-sort--the lust for power and speed, the urge to kill or be killed. If Radcliffe girls must grapple with the problems of life and death, we hope they will do so in lower level Gen Ed courses, rather than in the streets where maimed Harvard men fall by the wayside.