Weird Show

Dr. Jekyll came to Central Square last Friday night, after a triumphant tour of Codman Square, Watertown, and Chelsea theatres. Posters urging, "Shudder! Thrill! See this crazy mixed-up horror show! Grab girls in the audience!" had attracted a full house of ghost lovers.

First came a Jack the Ripper horror movie with Jack Palance and some blonde victims. Then it was quiet for Dr. Jekyll but Dr. Jekyll did not come. Then it was noisy. Then two identical brunettes in identical bathing suits came and it was noisier. But they just stood around. An assistant walked out with some chairs, unfolded a collapsible table, and then pointed to the wings. Suddenly dashing out, resplendent in white suit and a matching pink cumberbund tie and shirt set with a microphone behind him, was Dr. Jekyll.

With a polished grin Dr. Jekyll raised his hands for applause, but it was still pretty noisy. He did some magic tricks for a while but everyone had seen them. So Dr. Jekyll called some kids from the audience and had them sit on chairs for a while but not a very long while because it turned out the chairs were all wired to be hot seats. Then Dr. Jekyll asked one of the kids to come up. "What's your name?" the doctor asked genially. "David." A wit in the audience kept shouting "David Crockett" while Dr. Jekyll made the boy itch, genially explaining, "It all comes from what we call nerve control." Suddenly Dr. Jekyll's assistant sprinted out on stage chasing something. Then the lights went out and all the kids figured it must be the time they were supposed to grab the girls next to them.

When the lights came back on again, Dr. Jekyll's assistant had made about the twentieth row and seemed to be clutching a snake. "It's all clean and all in fun," Dr. Jekyll giggled. After hypnotising David who had been standing around a while, Dr. Jekyll announced, "Now comes the horror part of our show."

The lights went out, and lightning flashed across the screen, and a lot of noise came out of the P.A. system. Some kind of lights played on the walls, and it was pretty noisy, and the audience figured they might as well grab their girls again. An explosion went off and something like a mask was flashed on the screen. Then the lights came on.

Dr. Jekyll reappeared from behind stage looking a little out of breath and had his assistant bring out a box and locked one of the girls in, but after a while she got out. Raising his hands again for applause, Dr. Jekyll spoke to the audience softly. "It is said that magicians have the power to cast spells. If I were to cast a spell over you, I would wish you good luck, good fortune, and all the best of life." Then Dr. Jekyll folded his collapsible table and quietly stole away.