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Teleologic Processing

Cabbages and Kings

By Andrew W. Bingham

For the modest sum of $240, the Teleologic Foundation of Tampa, Florida, is offering a two-year correspondence course designed to teach students how to achieve both physical and mental health. Called Teleologic Processing, the course is based on the premise that "God may forgive you for your sins, but your nervous system won't.

The originator of this astounding new system is William R. Furr. Although his Foundation began only six years ago, Furr claims that today many doctors and psychiatrists are telling their colleagues that "Freudian psycho-analysis, and psychiatry today as a whole, are in a class with the horse and buggy compared to Teleologic Processing."

His own experiences, Furr maintains, prove this point. He followed his curriculum for only six months, but in that time he achieved revolutionary results: "I reduced my weight from 262 to 195 pounds. As a grandfather, I was an old, gray-haired, senile man. I am now as virile as I was at 30, happy inside, and my hair has returned to its original color. In short, I feel like a young man again.

"With practically a lifetime as a chronic alcoholic, and drinking enough beer and whiskey to float a boat, I do not now care for the stuff.

"I can now get more real benefit from a steaming cup of delicious hot water, than I could from a highly advertised cup of coffee . . ."

The methods which Furr used to conquer these character defects he now offers to anyone who can afford them. There is nothing intrinsically complicated about the Processing; it merely, involves learning to use all thirty senses that Nature provided for man's benefit. The backward souls who rely only on the basic five can never free themselves from anxieties, nervous tensions, aberrations, and illness. Because they have not achieved a proper balance between the Mind, Body, and Self, they remain ignorant of "the most powerful invisible force humanity has ever known as a material workable procedure. Only the Infinite exceeds it," Furr modestly asserts.

Besides receiving monthly lessons, followers of the course also carry on a personal correspondence with one of the Foundation's instructors. The purpose of this personal service is to help each individual with his own particular problems. On the Foundation's application form, the prospective student is asked to check off his deficiencies from a list which includes some fifty of the more common frailties. These include poor eyesight, alcoholic tendencies, dope addiction, unhappiness, inability to make friends, hate, fear, bashfulness, and any of four varities of sex difficulties ("over, under, fear of, perversion").

Furr virtually guarantees some general results for everyone. Memory, for instance, is an asset which he claims can be sharpened to such a degree that "names, faces, places, events, or things, can be recalled quickly and easily." Eliminating the frequency of bad colds and obviating fatigue are other typical accomplishments of the Processing.

Furr admits that some of the claims he makes for Teleologic Processing may seem extravagant. Not once, however, has he ever had to back down on any of them. After another four years, he hopes there will be so many "walking testimonials" for his method that no other proof will be needed. Then he intends to expand his work towards "making more of the sub-conscious Mind aware of and available to the conscious Mind." Until that time, the Teleologic Foundation will continue its endeavors out of 3009 Harbor View Avenue, Tampa 9, Florida.

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