COLLEGE CO ARSE

I was thinking, reading about the disgraceful riots in Rome and Trieste, that higher education has provided an excuse for more extraneous nonsense than any other form of social status. Some sort of madness afflicts the advanced student leading him to violent demonstrations on matters about which he knows little if anything.

I suppose it is all part of growing up, but it seems to me that studenthood should be put on a kind of probationary basis in which noisy thought outside of the three R's should be manditorily forbidden until graduation. Students should be allowed to congregate only at pep meetings and athletic events for their own protection.

As part of the college discipline, students should be made to write 100 times daily in all languages including Sanskrit--"I will not confuse myself with adults and will try not to think on the same plane with my elders. This especially includes polities."

When I was a lad in college, all my wise compatriots were busy writing learned essays on world matters, communism, literature and the arts. Some were busily joining the Communist party... A few of us earned the finger of scorn from our betters since we devoted ourselves mainly to the pursuit of happiness, coeds and corn whisky and read only the sports pages. Of that group, most of them grew up to succeed. The long-skulls who wrote the learned essays for the campus paper wound up as minor clerks and press agents...

Our kids, at least are frivolous enough to raid female schools, to pinch pantic girdles, to cut their hair in weird apache designs and tear down goal posts. By my observation, every European student thinks he is an embryo William Pitt, Garibaldi or Clemenceau with overtones of Stalin and wants everybody to learn about it at the top of his lungs.

From my hazy memory of school, my little old knotty skull was so busy entertaining cube roots of things and the preterit of foreign languages and that old "whan that Aprile" business from Chaucer that I didn't really have time to lend my learned opinions to Mr. Roosevelt's new brain trust. For one thing, I didn't really have time to lend my learned opinions to Mr. Roosevelt's new brain trust. For one thing, I didn't have any opinions. Robert Ruark, New York World   Telegram and Sun, November 23, 1952