Night-blooming Steamroller Squashes Conant's Crocuses

President Conant's lawn looked like a steamroller had run over it last night, after a steamroller ran over it.

Three drunken persons, reported to be students, chugged into the presidential driveway at 8:55 p.m. and parked before the front door. Then they left.

After futile efforts (above) to remove the machine, Sergeant James Twomey of the University police phoned its owners, Warren Brothers of Cambridge. The night watchman had no idea how to start the thing, but promised to dispatch a pick-up truck before morning.

By late last night, police still hadn't identified the culprits. Reliable reports reaching the CRIMSON, however, indicated that the trio was stamping out a grass-roots movement to steamroll President Conant into national office.

Several years ago M.I.T. students fused the President's gates with thermite.