CABBAGES & KINGS

As the applause rises in the lecture room, the professor grabs his notes, smiles uneasily, and makes his way out of the hall. Students and teachers enact this strained scene twice each year in bringing courses to an end with the traditional final lecture.

There are many possible variants of this situation, for professorial temperaments range from the shy and the fast-exit types to the applause-seeking type.

The shy type when confronted with applause fumblingly collects his notes, hastens off the podium, and has difficulty opening the door as the clapping of hands resounds in his ears. After the students have filed from the room, he must return to gather up the coat and hat he left behind in his haste.

The fast-exit type seems to have learned his exit on the vaudeville stage. He often manages to thrust his notes into his briefcase and back toward the door while still continuing an uninterrupted flow of closing phrases. Some teachers have been known to master this exit so effectively that they succeed in bolting out the door before the class is aware of what is taking place. The students remain seated, pens still poised above their notebooks.

When the moment arrives for the applause-seeking type to leave, the clapping bursts forth loudly in recognition of the dramatic last lecture. The ovation continues while the instructor drinks a glass of water and slowly searches for his hat. Winter is the ideal time for this type, for he can also fumble with his coat as the ovation goes on. But in Spring he must revert to the device of wishing the class good luck on the final exam, then stopping back to allow the applause to burst forth anew.