Ballplaying Janitors Will Meet All Comers

"Spring training? Bah, we don't need it! We'll challenge anybody (over 50) as soon as the ground gets dry!" said the press agent for the only baseball team in Cambridge that can boast a three-year undefeated record.

With these words, Connie "Hot Corner" Lynch, janitor of Matthews Hall, officially announced last night the intentions of the College janitors to open another season of hardball.

Mulvihill Coach

Nine players and their coach, Daniel Mulvihill, president of the Employees Union, are the only members of this "iron man" team of oldsters. No substitutes are necessary, as the team batting average--.342--proves.

Straus Hall's Earl Burnett, a 20-year veteran, captains the janitors' team from his first base position. Husky six-footer Burnett, childhood playmate of famous Pirate third-sacker Pie Traynor and ex-Braves pitcher Danny McFayden, boasts a batting average of .343.

Frank Burke, of Dudley, batting .324, holds down the keystone sack, and John Hall of Massachusetts Hall, batting .332, is the shortstop. Third baseman Lynch hits at a .363 clip.

In left field is Francis "Ted Williams" McNamara, of Weld, leading the team with a .381 average. Henry "Dimag" Petrillo, janitor of Lionel and Mower, patrols the center slot and bats a lusty .372. Hunt Hall's Joe Robinson plays right, and hits .303.

The fielding and the pitching of this team are not far behind its phenomenal batting. "The infield gives its opponents four outs," Lynch said, and improves on the famous Tinker to Evers to Chance infield with their Lynch to Hall to Burke to Burnett combination.

Famous Balloon Ball

John Sheehan of Wigglesworth, catcher, and Holyoke's Paul "Cannon Ball" Martin, pitcher, make up the battery. Martin's famous balloon ball is so effective that by the time it gets to the batter, "he's too old to appreciate it."

Last year, on Cambridge Common, the janitors defeated Johnny Quinlan's Harvard Hall team in a tense 15-inning game, 6 to 5, but a game with the Student Council was forfeited to the janitors without a battle.

The spring schedule is now being made up, and manager Bob Braydon at the Widener Library Gate will accept all applications for games. The janitors have only one condition that must be satisfied--the opposing team must accept Mulvihill as the umpire.