Alimentary, Watson

The Harvard Administration, like all August Bodies, never does anything without a reason. With that in mind, the question now is, why did the Administration place three pellets of birdshot in the Adams House roast beef at lunch on Sunday?

The reason could not be to discourage inter-House eating, or the birdshot would have been saved for the Monday evening meal, where it could have caused greater consternation.

Perhaps the birdshot was placed in the roast beef at the suggestion of officials of the H.A.A., in order to get more men to follow the football team for away-from-home games. Since the Princeton game was the last away game of the 1950 season, however, most of the effectiveness of such an action would be lost. And the H.A.A. has never gone in much for wasted effort.

There is only one answer. The Administration, in order to beat rising food prices, has undertaken to do its own cattle slaughtering. Just where this operation is being carried out is a secret; but good guesses would be either the well-known Harvard Forest, or the recesses of the Psychological Laboratories in the sub-basement of Memorial Hall.

Just why birdshot is being used to slaughter cattle is still a mystery. Buckshot would probably be much more efficient and much less expensive. However, no one would question the Administration's right to a few secrets.