Frahious Crimeds Spread Napkins Today Make Ready to Caste of This Meat, 23-2

BULLETIN--Local Sportsman "Touts" Teve Cady, act odds for today's clash on the mudflats of the Charles at 11 1/2 to 1.

WASHINGTON, D.C., April 28 (APE) Chief Justice Fred M. Vinson of the Supreme Court tonight doclared Lionel "The Toy" Train, ace Lampoon manager-moundsman, unconstitutional, thereby barring him from today's renewal for the annual Crime-Lampoon titanic.

Train, who jumped to the Junior League after a disappointing showing last year, was unable to name a replacement immediately. His squad will be out to snap a 23-years losing streak today, but Paper-worker Prexy, veteran Crimson mentor suffering from redtapeworms, predicted, "If I can crawl out of the files, we'll take them, 23 to 2."

Confirmation Brayed

The announcement of Train's barring was affirmed by the office of W. Hammerhead Jackass. The balding booster added, "The reserve clause. It'll be a great season."

The Crime, traditionally heavy favorites, will field a traumatic lineup. Wily staffers have filled the holes left by the loss of such stars as R. Sibley "The Cat" Ludenderff and "Mad Anthony" Carodny with new blood. The rags-to-riches nine will pit the skill of veteran receiver Backyard Stupor and hurler A. P. "Benjy" Farb against the speed of Olivoyl Quislin, who is the probably mound choice of the alien ibismen.

Guarding, the initial suck all be E. J. Sack. On the Keystone sack will be J. J. Sack. On the third sack, replacing P. Sack, will be Tightfisted C. $coundrel. At shortstop, the Crime will offer Wilful S. ("Special When Lit") Fouifellow.

The Plymptom squad is knee-deep in danky outfielders. In center, husky, bronzed Juan P. Leapandfall will start if the hone spur on his ailing heel shapes up; Chuckles (XX) Bellylaugh is slated to tend the right garden; and devilish Cocksure will attempt to run the game while patrolling the left pasture.

The newsmen's bench will be groaning with reserves. Jaytoo "Pasha" Snail, Alexander C. Hamberpotte, S. W. and R. A. Green--famed brother battery that burned up the league last year--and perennial player-coach Bumbling S. Gotnocuts are sure to see action.

Members of the Lampoon business board will be on hand to peddle programs and hawk peanuts before the game. WE  THEY Fiend, Wis72820  Farwell D. Smith ocC Farb, the  Desperate, clum $imons, .05  Quislin, 7 Stupor, tilt  Solmssen, ugh  Photographer (sic)  Cabot to Burrhaid, ng  Lowell to Peron, old pro  God. Bellylaff, yuk  Cheers, 2 Cockatoo, awk  Tiger

The umpires: F. Bulbous Large (base); Buller J. Bangham (pate).

Kickoff: Circa 3 p.m.

The umpires: F. Bulbous Large (base); Buller J. Bangham (pate).

Kickoff: Circa 3 p.m.