THE WALRUS SAID

(The Walrus is a column which presents an informal, personal view of various activities that is impossible to present under the restrictions of other columns or news stories.)

It's all over now, and the ballots are being counted. But before the election people, according to the politicians, had to be told for whom they should vote and why. This information is parcelled out during what is termed, in democratic parlance, a campaign period.

And, if you think that vote-getting methods have changed a great deal you might have visited a meeting "For Cambridge Independent Candidates" at the Hotel Commander on October 27 scheduled for 8 p.m.

Promptly at 9:05 p.m. the chairman got things off to an early start. He introduced himself. This took 20 minutes: time to allow the hall to fill, and for him to enumerate his attributes. The most important of these was that he was born in East Cambridge, was brought up in East Cambridge, went to school in East Cambridge, and still loves East Cambridge and what East Cambridge stands for. In Cambridge this is all good.

The audience, which contained many residents of East Cambridge cheered. The chairman then raised his voice a third in pitch and began his attack on the opposition.

"They have called us names rais, grafters, politicians in their literature," he said. "If there is one thing I want to make clear, it is that I am not, nor ever was a politician," he continued. This defense brought applause, muffled somewhat by the cigar smoke.

Encouraged, he brought in his heavy points against an opposing slate, that of the Cambridge Civic Association. He pointed out that the CCA claimed to be a good government group. This was definitely a bad thing. He had a case in point to prove it too.

Back before the First World War there had been another such organization, and it had actually put out posters showing one of its opposition, "one of the best men who ever walked the streets of East Cambridge," behind bars.

Now it was true that the man was in jail. But that wasn't the point at all. "And do you know why? For helping illiterates, that's why." After explaining what an illiterate is, the speaker went on. "For helping illiterates," the chairman emphasized. The audience, now in the spirit of things, was muttering, displeased over such an injustice. A little louder, the speaker explained that the poor victim of good government had only been enabling these illiterates to exercise their FUNDAMENTAL RIGHT TO VOTE UNDER THE CONSTITUTION. He had registered for them. Thus there was no doubt left that good government organizations are not good.

Now came even more important points, recited another third higher in pitch. The speaker stated that this organization was actually a tool of the Harvard School of Public Administration--a bunch of professors. Boos, and deeper mutterings. "They even have Radcliffe girls passing out campaign literature," he closed. A crescendo of boos, mutterings and threats from the audience followed.

Probably the immediate presentation of a guest speaker saved Littauer from immediate ravage. The guest, after excusing himself as "unprepared for this unexpected situation," took out his speech and read. Its main thesis was that the CCA, if it was allowed to carry through one of its campaign promises to eliminate a particular grade crossing, would ruin the economy of East Cambridge. He explained the boundaries of East Cambridge, which include the Boston and Albany Railroad, the Drainage canal, another railroad and the Charles River, and showed how the proposed change would destroy the basis for the well-being of its citizens. The audience loudly agreed, and the chairman returned.

Again pointing out that he was no politician, he extorted all to work for the opposition's downfall, and not to worry about Harvard. Then he asked for contributions for the common cause. He didn't want the money for himself, he pleaded, since he wasn't running. The audience almost beat me to the door--but not quite.