News

Harvard Quietly Resolves Anti-Palestinian Discrimination Complaint With Ed. Department

News

Following Dining Hall Crowds, Harvard College Won’t Say Whether It Tracked Wintersession Move-Ins

News

Harvard Outsources Program to Identify Descendants of Those Enslaved by University Affiliates, Lays Off Internal Staff

News

Harvard Medical School Cancels Class Session With Gazan Patients, Calling It One-Sided

News

Garber Privately Tells Faculty That Harvard Must Rethink Messaging After GOP Victory

Bottle Is Key to Apathy Leaguers Lack of Program

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

The Student Apathy League, Harvard's only side of the road political organization, came sleepkwalking into its second term yesterday. Boasting no boosters, solicitors, or lapel snatchers the apathy league holds together its 3000 odd members by the sheer force of inertia.

Permanent president Stu Bottle (he's too apathetic to resign) was discovered once again on his Eliot House settee late Monday, and he promised the same square deal and concrete principles which characterized his inaction last year. "I will do nothing," said Bottle.

Admitting some concern about increasing political agitation, Bottle agreed the "Do-nothing Congress" was adequate, but only half-heartedly endorsed the Un-American Activities committee. "Why should they limit it merely to opposing un-American activity?"

As for his academic career, Bottle is still thumbing his last year's catalogue for three more courses that meet on Tuesday and Thursday only. "I like long weekends."

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags