News

HMS Is Facing a Deficit. Under Trump, Some Fear It May Get Worse.

News

Cambridge Police Respond to Three Armed Robberies Over Holiday Weekend

News

What’s Next for Harvard’s Legacy of Slavery Initiative?

News

MassDOT Adds Unpopular Train Layover to Allston I-90 Project in Sudden Reversal

News

Denied Winter Campus Housing, International Students Scramble to Find Alternative Options

Fish Face Exile From Residence

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Two goldfish marked time in their Thayer Hall bowl yesterday and anxiously awaited a University ruling on their legality.

Realizing that "no student shall keep an animal in a College building," officials looked askance at the new pots of Jefferson Watkins '51 and neatly sidestopped a final decision.

It all started when Watkins' maid said, "I think they're illegal," and reported the goldfish to the dorm janitor. The latter didn't care personally as long as he "wouldn't have to clean up after them."

But neither the janitor, Caretakers' Office, or Real Estate Division was willing to evict or sanction the animals.

Told yesterday that "Dean Watson will have to see about it," Watkins simply bided his time. "If I can't keep them as pets, I'll keep them as food," he said, gulping audibly.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags