'Move Over,' Mutters Lethargic New Apathy League to Energetic Groups

A new organization has yawned upon the College scene.

Admitting under protest a membership of over 3,000, the Student Apathy League dwarfs the more active HLU, HYRC, and HYD. League spokesmen point to their slogan, "Boredom Is a Fundamental Right," and state that they passively oppose everything, including passive resistance.

"I don't know how I over was elected president," murmured Stu Bottle '50, "because we were too apathetic to held an election. But I guess I'll have to stay in office. I'm too apathetic to resign, and even if I did, the members would be too lazy to accept my resignation."

Fearful that membership drives of more active organizations would deplete their swollen ranks, the SAL admitted it might lodge a mild pretest with College officials. "All this reform balderdash is getting rather trying," sighed President Bottle. "It's getting so a man can't stagnate in peace.

"If I cared to bother..."

"You know, if I cared to bother I would be president of the Student Council," trailed off the lethargic prexy of organized apathy. When forced to continue, he explained that in the last College-wide ballet less than half the men voted. "The non-voters lodged protest ballots for spathy, an I'm the titular head of the sleeping forces of spathy.

"Of course, we realty don't know how many members we've got. We can't be bothered to held a meeting, and the members would be too lazy to come."