News

HMS Is Facing a Deficit. Under Trump, Some Fear It May Get Worse.

News

Cambridge Police Respond to Three Armed Robberies Over Holiday Weekend

News

What’s Next for Harvard’s Legacy of Slavery Initiative?

News

MassDOT Adds Unpopular Train Layover to Allston I-90 Project in Sudden Reversal

News

Denied Winter Campus Housing, International Students Scramble to Find Alternative Options

Queer Foundling Left Deserted on Crimson Doorstep

Radcliffers Profer Pigeon To Surpass Lampoon's Ibis

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

In a move remindful of Skeezix, who was left on the Walletts' doorstep just 21 years ago, the CRIMSON received a foundling yesterday afternoon by a mysterious Radcliffe mother, who apparently could not take care of it in a proper and humane fashion.

The foundling in question is presumably a genus Ectopistes migratorius, colloquially known as a passenger pigeon, although University experts called into conference late yesterday were not agreed as to its exact status.

Richard A. Harlow, curator of Oology, and incidentally coach of the football team, was undisposed to gamble his professional reputation by hazarding a guess on the correct Latin name, but was of the opinion that it was some sort of pigeon.

George, or Georgianna, as the case may be, was accompanied by a letter obviously written in Radcliffe script, in which the renegade mother stated that she had decided to abandon her columba to the CRIMSON as "a candidate to usurp the power of the infamous Ibis."

References to the Ibis, bird of doubtful antecedents which currently disgraces the steeple of the Lampoon building, was made in the hope that when George reaches maturity he will be pitted against the Ibis "in a fight-to-the-finish," in order to "banish conclusively the name of 'Ibis' from the civilized world."

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags