WORSTS OF YEAR POINTLESS ACCORDING TO LAMPY CRITIC

Lampy drew in its horns in a hurry last night and begged forgiveness for its most recent misdeed--calling Leila Ernst the biggest movie flop of 1940--when confronted with the irate objections of a certain mysterious "Frederick Ernst" 'who claimed, via telephone, to be the girl's father.

But it is known at the CRIMSON office that 'Mr. Ernst" was an impostor. In addition, full details of the phone conversation in which Lampy reneged on its smear of Miss Ernst are in the CRIMSON's possession.

Just a Joke

"Honest, we didn't mean it, Mr. Ernst-we Lampoon fellows don't mean anything we say," was how reviewer Whitman Hobbs '41 explained his bestowal of "least likely to succeed" honors on Leila.

"We were just trying to be funny, and personally I think Leila Ernst is almost sure of making a big hit in Hollywood," Hobbs declared when pressed by the impostor for an apology, adding that he "wanted the whole mess kept in strict confidence between you and the Lampoon."

The impostor, in addition to worming an apology for the treatment accorded to Leila, also managed to get Hobbs to admit that most Lampoon stunts in the past 10 years have been "senseless" and not worth while. Specifically condemned was the stealing of the Sacred Cod from the State House.

When asked directly by "Mr. Ernst" just what he thought of Leila's acting, Hobbs at first attempted to wiggle out of the predicament by saying, "Oh, we do this sort of thing every year."

"On just what do you base these opinions of person's acting," queried the imposter.

"On my own opinion," was the reply.

"Oh, so you think my daughter is a flop as an actress," came "Mr. Ernst's" rejoinder.

"Why not at all," retreated the Lampy critic.

"Yes you do too," persisted his inquisitor.

"Well, it's sort of hard to explain," Hobbs parried valiantly.

Wanted to be Different

Following this interchange, "Mr. Ernst" demanded to know the whole idea of panning the film stars. "Why don't you make awards for the best instead of the worst actresses?"

"Everybody else does that," Lampy answered.

"So you like to be different, eh,?" came over the wire.

"Yes, I guess so," came the sheepish answer.

The conversation finally concluded when Lampyman Hobbs on behalf of the numerous 'Poon boys listening in, declared that "Leila is very attractive, and we hear her new show is swell, and we think she will do fine on either the stage or in the movies, and anyway we don't set ourselves up as competent critics of anything."