NEITHER RAIN NOR LAMPY WILL STOP CRIMSON 23-2 BASEBALL WIN TODAY

Threatened by a genuine Zwoncuskrieg, the CRIMSON ball team this afternoon journeys to Soldiers Field to protect its flanks from an attack by the Lampoon's self-styled "naughty nine."

The journalists will move on the Mt. Auburn Street monastery at precisely 2:30 o'clock to observe the Lampymen's hopes go up and spirits go down. After a rebust half-hour the happy group will embark on the largest and best lubricated vehicle now running between Cambridge and Allston.

W. Russell Zwoncus Jr. '41, ace smoochball artist of the Funnymen, declared for publication last night that "because the CRIMSON isn't going to publish a Saturday issue, I might as well predict right now that they'll shaft us to the tune of a cool 23 to 2." The tousle-haired, troll-visaged athlete further asserted, "Here's Zwoncus who will drain every resource for the 'Poon!"

Spencer Klaw, CRIMSON pitcher, "the man who flatters the batters," will groove the globule for the heavily favored Plympton Street willow-wielders.