Ann Sheridan Sharpshoots at Lampy; Calls Harvard Humor Sheet Sad Rag

Lampy for once stopped into some unpremeditated national publicity yesterday when Ann Sheridan, "Oomph Girl" whom the Poon recently dubbed "least likely to succeed" in the movies blasted Harvard men in general and Lampoon editors in particular.

"Look at the Lampoon," she told the United Press, "If it isn't the saddest idea of a magazine I Don't know what is. Why it's only a pale copy of Captain Billy's Whiz Bang."

"I met a Harvard man once, myself," she added. "It was a very sad evening. He could have used a little more oomph. So could the Harvard football team. So could the Lampoon."

Bowle Rebuts

In a 500 word extemporaneous statement to the press, tall, blend, handsome President W. Russell Bowie, Jr. (pronounced "Buoy") lashed back at Miss Sheridan saying loftily, "As a graduate of a remote Texas Kinder garden School, Miss Sheridan is not qualified to offer any intelligent criticism of the Lampoon, which eaters to a somewhat different class. In view of this, Miss Sheridan's opinion of the Lampoon is of supreme indifference to its editors."

Answering Miss Sheridan's taunt that while she earns $100,000 a year by her oomph, the average Harvard graduate makes less than $5,000 Bowie said. "We wonder by what criterion Miss Sheridan claims success for herself. If she earns $100,000 a year, it is further proof of public gullibility rather than of Miss Sheridan's success as an actress.

Sheridan "Orgy"

"We wonder if her brief five-minute orgy in "They Made Me a Criminal" is a sign of success" Bowie added significantly.

In her statement Miss Sheridan said that she wanted to invite the editor of this Lampoon out here. He not only could tell me how to succeed, but he could give the Warner Brothers a few pointers. Then held nudge Mr. Hays out of the Producers' Association and that would end all the problems of the movie business."

Bowie would not say whether he will accept Miss Sheridan's invitation, but admitted that he would probably screen well. A curly-harried pleasant lad, Bowie is interested in crooning and has also dabbled in musical comedy.