News

HMS Is Facing a Deficit. Under Trump, Some Fear It May Get Worse.

News

Cambridge Police Respond to Three Armed Robberies Over Holiday Weekend

News

What’s Next for Harvard’s Legacy of Slavery Initiative?

News

MassDOT Adds Unpopular Train Layover to Allston I-90 Project in Sudden Reversal

News

Denied Winter Campus Housing, International Students Scramble to Find Alternative Options

150 YEARS TOO LATE

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Massachusetts is on a SPREE.

GOVERNOR SALTONSTALL is responsible. After ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS he has signed the Bill of Rights.

This is BAD. It is bad for HARVARD. It CONTRADICTS University policy.

What will DEAN HANFORD say? People have a right to assemble when they want to. But he says STUDENTS may have their connections severed. Or at least DISCIPLINARY ACTION may result. How about THIS?

Water fights are UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Harvard men must use GUNS. "The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed," says Governor Saltonstall.

HARVARD SQUARE is unconstitutional. No person can twice be put in jeopardy of life and limb.

EXAMINATIONS are unconstitutional. "In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to SPEEDY AND PUBLIC trial by an impartial jury . . . CRUEL AND UNUSUAL punishment shall NOT be inflicted."

"No man shall be deprived of life . . . without due process of law." So DINING HALLS are unconstitutional. If "unreasonable" search and seizure" is impossible, then it is even unconstitutional to BORROW A NECKTIE.

Pretty soon HARVARD will be unconstitutional.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags