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THE CRIME

Sugar Makes Me

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

When approached on the question of Harvard's new President yesterday, the following celebrities made these statements:

K. B. Murdock '16, dean of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences: "I was deeply disappointed." ... R. L. Westcott '14, Manager of the University Dining Halls, "I have no authority over this matter. See Mr. Endicott."... A. L. Endicott '06, Comptroller, "I deny everything. Please send no more candidates." ... Major C. R. Apted '06, Superintendent of Caretakers, "Break it up boys." ... Eugene Du Bois '33, student, "The statement in your notice column to the effect that the rifle range is already completed is utterly untrue and uncalled for. All members please report this afternoon under the north tower of the Stadium to fill sandbags."

R. W. Robart, member of Cambridge School Committee, "I told you that I seen signs of Communism."... R. M. Russell '14, Mayor of Cambridge, "I made no such statement. But the figures are correct."... Peregrine White '33, president of Phillips Brooks House, "We will be glad to cooperate." ... A. N. Holcombe '06, "I can see no plausible reason why this should have any detrimental influence on the aggrandizement of Japan in the disputed area in the Liaotung Peninsula." ... W. S. Sims, Jr. '33, ex-president of the CRIMSON, "The continue lines are wrong." ... F. D. Roosevelt '04, former Harvard man, "I wanted him for my Cabinet." ... A. L. Lowell '77, President of the University, "I have not said anything for twenty-four years, and I don't intend to begin now."

Sidney H. Carroll '34, president of the Harvard Lampoon, declared last night: "Our trustees know nothing about this; if they inquire, we know nothing about it. But if you think this is anything, just wait till next week."

Mrs. J. L. Coolidge, First Lady of Lowell House, "Why! Whoever heard of that man?" ... A. L. Putnam '20, Consultant on Careers, "The future is fraught with contradictory possibilities. ... Life contains few straight lines... We will make an appointment for you." ... The Chicago Tribune, "We told you so stop." ... T. S. Eilot '10, Charles Eliot Norton Professor of Pertry, "Co co ri co co rico, da datta, had a bad cold, J. Sweeney, hic jacet."

A. C. Hanford, dean of the College, "Our attention has been called to the fact that there has been some misunderstanding...therefore it seems necessary to make clear the University's position... study cards are still due at 5 o'clock." ... D. M. Suilivan '33, secretary of the Senior class, "Beer and cigars." ... Anne Corlo, no class, "Gracious! Why when he was a Freshman.."

W. S. Best, printer extraordinary to the Lampoon, "Sure, I know, the name was spelled wrong. We added the "e" so's to fill up the hed."... J. T. Dennison '34, "All Hasty Elks will rejoice."

James Parton '34, literary editor of the Lampoon. "This idea has been under consideration for some time, but it took the new board to put it through. We started working on it last Sunday, obtained all the ads in two days, and only lost a few dollars on the whole business. After the dance last night fifteen of us got together and went the rounds of all the Houses and the Yard, delivering a paper under each door. The whole affair is a great success. It is admittedly a publicity stunt."

Richard J. Walsh, Jr. '34, lbis of the Lampoon--"We know nothing at all about this."

The Harvard Crimson, "This will have no effect upon our policy of publishing all the general comments of tutors of the various departments received in answer to the recent questionnaire on the tutorial system sent out before Christmas." ... The Lampoon, "Tee-hee."

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