Alumni Acrimony

In common with many other Harvard graduates, I have read the editorial appearing in the Harvard Alumni Bulletin of January 29, advocating the reduction in the football schedule and the forbidding of any team practice until the opening of College. For many years, until last Fall, I have read of Harvard's football team being continuously beaten by teams from minor colleges, and when I asked the explanation I was told that the college in question began its football practice earlier than we and that our team had not "got going." When players were injured in the earlier games, I was told that the reason is that the preparatory season is so short that our players have no time to get hardened. I have been thoroughly out of patience with those theorists who wish to keep the football team from playing the best possible football by surrounding our players with handicaps which do not apply to any other opponent except Yale.

Now we have a startling new theory. A suggestion is made that the practice be even more limited and that the schedule be reduced. Wonderful! If a six game schedule is an improvement why not have more of an improvement and have only two games? Why not one game? Why practice at all? Why not return to the old system of calling for volunteers on the day of the game? This marvelous idea might be carried into other branches of sport. I here that certain of the boxers are practising boxing most of the year, and this certainly ought to be stopped. Why not insist that the boxers only box for a certain number of days before each contest and insist that they be further handicapped by having one hand tied behind them during each fight? Our swimmers! Horrors! I hear that they are swimming during the summer. This is certainly a step backward, and they should be forbidden to swim except during the College swimming season. Our baseball team would be sufficiently handicapped if its practice were limited to three days before each game and if it were forced to play with an indoor baseball. I question if the great reformer whose editorials grace the Bulletin realizes the full possibilities of his plan.

There may be one obstacle, but we can overcome that. If other colleges refuse to play football with us on the ground that their graduates and undergraduates do not approve of football teams which have not received proper training or coaching, we can abolish all intercollegiate football contests and have our great football game each fall a contest between the editorial staffs of the Harvard Alumni Bulletin and the Harvard CRIMSON. Such a game would be most popular because a lot of people would travel a long distance to see the Harvard CRIMSON players kill off some of the editorial writers of the Bulletin. If that happened, those who want a real football team might be spared thereafter from reading such editorials. An Ancient H2d.   (from the Alumni Bulletin.)