SORRY ON SIAM

There was born this week of a mother in South Bend, home of clocks, twins, as the barker would say, "in human flesh", joined in that integral fashion hitherto solely suggestive of Siamese ancestry. The parents are Americans. So there is no longer need to think that, though she excels in sports and morality and feminine jankles, America is without Siamese twins. That day, to use the words of the successful reformer is gone forever.

Yet complications make this less attractive to the patriot and one hundred per cent national publicity agent than casual glance could suggest. For South Bend is alter all but one city in one part of the country. What hope then is there for all the other cities in all the other parts? Though one can boast of local morals and another of local anesthetics. South Bend alone can boast of twins joined together in infancy, ladies and gentlemen, step right up and see with your own eyes. So an era of provincial inferiority complexes awaits those cities who see no future chance to pave their prosperity with the concertos reality of such physical phenomena.

But the greatest complication of all, country and state and city to the contrary notwithstanding, is that which faces the children themselves. These poor creatures can have none. Until death in reality parts them, they are joined in a worse union than matrimony could ever effect. They are linked like human sausages and await the consumption of multiple morons who pay to see demonstrations of that omnipotent nonchalance which some people worship. There was born this week of a mother in South Bend, home of clocks, twins.