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Uncorking a brand of strategy that made defeat impossible, the gentlemen of the Crimson put the minions of the lampoon to rout this afternoon in the annual football game on Soldiers Field. From start to finish the low minded punsters were suppressed far more efficiently than by police and post-office and finally retired in shame at the short end of the customary 23 to 2 score.
Weakened by a long career of debauch the Harvard filth editor were unable to stand against the brilliant open field running of the Crimson nine. At the end of the game Prexy Cooke of the lampoon apologized to President Nichols of the Crimson for the ungentlemanly and unsportsmanlike conduct of his cohorts.
Bob Lampoon, hired mound ace of the alleged comic magazine, did his best to stem the Crimson batsmen who scored at will for four innings, and indeed he succeeded in the fifth inning in holding the gentlemen to one run. In the next frame, however, the upholder of Harvard's journalistic honor knocked him out of the box to the tune of six home runs, four triples and three bases on balls. Joe Dube, hitherto paid by the lampoon as umpire, was then called to pitch the remainder of the one-sided game.
As a ninth inning rally, Cooke, Harris, Marshall, and Roebling, officers of the offending magazine, tried to steal first base, but an unassisted triple play by Caughey forced them to return it.
The Crimson strategy was evident early in the afternoon, when the gentlemen forced their lascivious rivals to wait at the field for some time, making them so nervous that they were in no condition to play when the Crimson appeared dressed in clean black and white. The lampoon urchins were clad in rags, patches and outlandish masquerade costumes, and their style of play won them their first laugh since 1876 when the Harvard funny book was born.
The score by innings follows:
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