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LECTURED TO

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Herr Kapitan-Lieutnant Helmuth von Muecke, commander of the cruiser Emden during the World War, plans an American lecture tour to acquaint ignorant, eager audiences of the marauding deeds of his vessel. Surprisingly enough, there is an avalanche of protest. An honest raider, perceiving that there is almost as much money in lecturing as in writing Memoirs, proposes to turn an honest penny by presenting to us such interesting, vivid pictures as the blowing up of passenger ships and the sinking of army transports.

The protest that has ensued is unwarranted. Lecturing has come to be an honorable profession, and at present it vies with baseball and the movies as a source of fame and fortune. A glance at the year's harvest of lecture-tour celebrities will carry conviction: Margot Asquith, Philip Gibbs, Conan Doyle, Hugh Walpole, and now Emile Coue:--in fact, any Englishman or foreigner with more than seven lines to his credit in the current "Who's Who" is regarded as eligible to lecture the American people. It is a pity that the celebrities of by-gone days could not have had similar opportunity. Napoleon would have edified thousands with a talk press-agented as "Why I Kept My Hand Under My Waistcoat When I Posed For Photographs." Nero, lecturing on "Music, a Flame", would have been a boon to students of Music 4. And the gentle Samuel Pepys, with his eye for insignificant details, could have constructed a series of lectures on British manners and customs that would cram Symphony Hall nightly.

There is much for our age to regret, and what few crumbs of comfort can be scraped together should be seized with avidity. No opportunity should be allowed to slip by. Think what a charming lecturer William Hohenzollern, formerly a man of some note in Prussia, would prove, with his variety of subjects, from the science of wood-chopping to "From White House to Log-Cabin." And how entertaining would be Herr Hindenburg's "Line."

Von Muecke proposes to deliver his addresses in German, as he speaks no English; it is easy to see what service he can render students brushing up for their Orals. His idea of coming over is a profitable one. Because there are so few lecturers in the business today, Von Muecke ought to be encouraged. He should come, and bring along Boy-ed, Bernstorff, Tirpitz, and the Crown Prince. The solution of the reparation problem is in sight.

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