CROSS-EYED PARCHESI ON LINOLEUM RUGS NO GAME FOR AN OLD MAN

Editor of the CRIMSON:

In the 1st place I don't know why you call your paper the CRIMSON as all the copies which has been sent to me to read and which between you and I I will never read as have got my work cut out for me, well any way the copies I have read, has all been printed in black inks on paper as white as a whiffle doover's ear and what could be whiter?

But my tension has been called to a football game which the Harvards has got scheduled with the Yales along about the 25 of the month and everybody is after me like long horn sheep to tell them how do I think the game will come out so as they can bet vice versa. Well friends in the 1st. place I don't think the game will come out as I think they made a big mistake putting it on the same day when the Eagles plays there national game of asparagus with the whelps on the bowling green at Gloucester. There is the contest that will draw the crowd and how can you whipper snappers thinks you can pay expenses is a misery to me.

In regards to the merits of the contest which you get scheduled why I don't know nothing about the merits only I bet my discarded whiskers that the coaches of both teams kneels down every P. M. and sometimes in the morning and thanks god that you ain't got no game to play with Washington and Jefferson or Lafayette, 3 great generals.

I did not see the Yale-Harvard game last season as am getting so old that I can't set still all P. M. looking at nothing and not get nervous but a few of my practally numerous boys has told me that the johnny of old Harvard cracked the blue of old John Eli by a quaint fancy, namely they had a man name Gus Buell playing defensible full back on there nine and finely a ball was kicked to same and he catched it and run with it. The usual procedure in football as I have come to understand it is for a defensive full back to wait for a kick to start comeing and then lay down on a well-greased linoleum rug and begin playing cross-eyed parchesi with the man he graduated from high school. But this time this Buell guy catched the kick and run back with it towards the opponents' ghoul and the old blue Eli declared it was foul tactics but the referee said willy nilly and what could anybody do about it? I am asking everybody.

Yale had been playing for 12 and 9-10 yrs. on the slocum of don't tackle a man when he catches a punt lest you make him muff it. Those tactics worked for 12 yrs. like a wolf trying to crawl through a bathroom window but finely they turned around and bit them. Will Elihu Yale try those tactics again? Only as an adverb.

I will be frank with you and admit that I been asked to prophesy in regards to the effulgent Yale-Harvard game. I will be franker with you and say that I would not prophesy victory in regards to either team as I don't think they are capable. Was I the mgr. of either club I would put in a entirely new team either from the Niles high school or the Harrisburg yacht club and make a living monkey out of either of you.

That is how I feel about the matter and the boys can send me tickets or not and if they do I will use them provide it I ain't got nothing better to do that P. M. like pairing my finger nails or attending the Del Sarte Lecture Club of Flushing.

But would loathe to close without presenting my heartiest good wishes to the opposing captains of the 2 nines who I have forgotten their names but only know they play behind the line like captains in a war. Respy,   Ring W. Lardner.