News

HMS Is Facing a Deficit. Under Trump, Some Fear It May Get Worse.

News

Cambridge Police Respond to Three Armed Robberies Over Holiday Weekend

News

What’s Next for Harvard’s Legacy of Slavery Initiative?

News

MassDOT Adds Unpopular Train Layover to Allston I-90 Project in Sudden Reversal

News

Denied Winter Campus Housing, International Students Scramble to Find Alternative Options

THE SEVEN LITTLE SLAVS

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

"Percival," asked Adolphus Smith-Blythe, the big m an of the College, captain of the Tiddledewink Team, Chairman of the "Committee to Make Freshmen Fool at Home," etc., as he sat sipping his afternoon cup of tea in the Union, the push button for the bell boy at his elbow, "What's the news today?"

"Cox's inaugural Address says " began his companion, munching his toast and marmalade.

"No, no," interrupted Adolphus, "I mean what's the latest about Admiral McNully and his Russian orphans? I do hope those poor little dears are not still confined at Ellis Island."

"No Secretary Daniels has intervened in his favor and the paper today says that here it is, 'Admiral Marches Off in Triumph with Seven Little Slavs. Afraid Someone Will Steal Them, He Says Tolls How He Won Over Daniels "Did Not Know How Dear Children Were All Aboard for Capital."

"Splendid, glorious," exclaimed Adolphus, almost upsetting his tea in his excitement. "I'm so relieved for the little toil-is that in a Boston paper?"

"With a three-column streamer and a picture of the Admiral!."

"Really that's most encouraging, it almost seems as if the Boston papers were going to print news that can interest a man of culture. I'm so ennuled by these sordid stories about murders and graft, and editorials ridiculing Harvard men for drinking tea."

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags