THE QUIZZICAL CLUB.

THIS famous society was formed a year since, at the suggestion of several gentlemen prominent in science and literature. Its object is the discussion of the world in general and the universe in particular. At these meetings from time to time many valuable papers have been read, and possibly on some future occasion they may be perpetrated in print. But it is with the opening meeting of this famous society that we are at present concerned.

A large body of distinguished men was assembled one bleak, cold night of last February in Appleton Chapel. It was a moving sight, - partly because they were obliged to walk about in order to keep warm. Doctor B-rt-l's "serene, saint-like face" was all aglow from the effects of a walk in the wind; whereas the muscular Christianity of Ph-ll-ps Br-ks was merely gently stimulated by the chilly atmosphere. Mr. J-mes T. F-lds had quite forgotten to follow T-nnys-n about and ask, "How do you feel now?" but stood shivering over a melancholy register, - not that of M-ses. Algernon Charles Sw-nb-rne and G-rge Fr-ncis Tr-in chatted merrily away, kept warm, perhaps, by their own heated imaginations. The President of a certain famous institution of learning sat by himself in one corner of the building, in order that the rest of the assembly might attempt to keep warm; and every one looked that way whenever this great functionary raised his eyes, and, turning up their coat-collars, remarked to one another that the weather was frigid.

Mr. Alson Broncott called the meeting to order in a felicitous speech, and then asked Mr. F-lds to pass the hat. A general outcry of consternation followed. Mr. J-mes G-rd-n Benn-tt said that it was a dead give-away, and that the Irish were in need of funds to help carry on the glorious work of exterminating, "bloated bond-holders," and that he (Mr. B.) could feel for the poor; Mr. Gl-dst-ne declared that Dizzy must be pensioned; his lordship replied with some asperity, that he was writing another novel, which fact called for charity, though not for cash, and that, at any rate, he had shown up Thackeray to the world; whereupon Mr. F-lds called upon his lordship to retract the insult to that great novelist, saying that to slander his (F.'s) friend was to slander him (F.). The discussion was finally ended by the chairman's remarking that he wanted the money for building an L to the Concord school; and then he called upon the Sage of that place to explain the object of the present meeting. The Sage explained, and then was asked to explain his explanation.

"All nature is art otherwhere," declared the Sage. "Man has found this inextricably true. It is the omnipresence of the Over-soul, the gauge of the hereafter. And there is no other. Wherefore let us wait."

Algernon Charles was opposed to this. He had been conferring with George Francis T. and with Miss Julia A. Moore, the "sweet singer of Michigan," and they were as one man against it. "The factitious fragile flower of a fruitful fancy blossoming in deep divine imaginings, unseen and for evermore beautiful, should not be choked out by the preposterous polyhedral polytechnic and pyrotechnic perorations and preparatory ponderosity of addle-pated patriarchs."

Doctor M-ner immediately arose, and, after quoting the beautiful lines, "Peter Parley pickt a peck of pickled peppers," &c., said that if Algernon were given to the use of spirituous drinks he (M-ner) should withdraw from the Club. As no one made any objections to this, the reverend doctor did not withdraw.

Here the meeting was disturbed by a violent dispute between Doctor B-rt-l and Joseph C-k about the economy of protoplasm. Joseph proposed an interlude in the yard, where, being a large man, he would agree to wipe out B-rt-l- The Club were disposed to resent this speech; but a very learned man, H-xley by name, interposed, saying that the discussion would amuse Joseph and keep him out of mischief, and that if B-rt-l could stand it the rest of them could.

Much time was then consumed in a debate upon the constitution, submitted by a committee composed of Roscoe C-nkl-ng, the Czar of Russia, and Mr. P-rnell. The frigid one in the corner, who had hitherto been silent, declared that it was too arbitrary, and also inconsistent with the popular manners of the Club. Dizzy thought that it might injure Turkey's influence in the English cabinet, or even pacify the Boers; and W-m Ang-ll H-vey of the Transcriber was very much averse to any measure that might increase the duty upon Hamburg edgings and corsets. "Let 'em edge!" declared Br-wn-ng. "The ad valorem duty on books has been removed, and one can write by the ton now."

A cold perspiration stood on the faces of the listeners at this. "Who will read it, Robert, who will read it?" asked Mr. J-st-n W-ns-r pathetically. Then T-nnys-n said that some poets were poets, and so was Walt Wh-tm-n and Walk-in Miller. Mr. Rottessi intimated that he was another, and that - Here Mr. Rustin interfered, saying that Art was Art, and the Poets were Fools. At this insult, a hundred tottering forms indignantly arose, and the constitution was forgotten in a windy war of words, in the midst of which Algernon Charles could be heard screaming out, -

"I hid my heart in a nest of roses,

In a softer bed than the soft white snow's is;

Outside the garden the wet skies harden,

And we sit within, and blow our noses."

And you might distinguish, too, the voice of Mr. F-lds attempting to tell a little anecdote : "When I was in London, I breakfasted with Charles Dickens, and he said, 'Jim, my boy,'. . . &c."

The meeting broke up at last in the greatest confusion, the chairman, Mr. Broncott, shouting above the din that the topic for the next meeting would be, Things in General; or, What No Feller Can Find Out.