THE RAPE OF THE BELL.

Dramatis Personoe.

SIMPLE SAPLING

TONY TOUGH

WILLIAM TELL

THE WATCHMAN.

A PROCTOR.

Freshmen, & c.

Freshmen Conspirators.

A Spy.

SCENE 1.A room in Thayer. Time, early morning. Enter SIMPLE SAPLING from bedrooms, half dressed.

SAPLING (singing).

That morning bell! that morning bell!

Ah, how I hate to hear it swell

Across the Yard, at early morn,

When everything is so forlorn.

It wakes me from a gentle sleep,

And makes me from my pillow leap,

To dress in haste, and hotly tear

To reach in time the morning prayer.

(Soliloquizing.)Yes, 't is a horrid thing, that wretched bell,

A remnant of the prehistoric age

When Freshmen had to polish up the boots

Of Seniors supercilious and sedate.

I vow that ere another moon shall wane

I'll stop the dismal clanging of that bell.

For who would prayers attend (when he might sleep),

To stand and shiver in the chapel chill,

But that the dread of something worse than prayers,

Some undiscovered village, where to stay

Month after month in dull suspended life

Puzzles the will, and makes us rather bear

The ills of Cambridge than those more remote?

And yet, methinks, a plot might be so planned,

That from the bell I e'en might pluck the tongue,

And when Jones rang no sound could be induced

To start us Freshmen from our beauty sleep, -

A plan so well contrived and followed up,

That none should know who did the hero's act,

But generations yet unborn should bless

The unknown patriot who his classmates freed

From trouble so unbearable. But hark!

It tolls again, and I must hie me hence.

[Exit, whistling.SCENE II.TONY TOUGH'S room in Matthews. Several Freshmen assembled.

CHORUS.

Pity the Harvard Freshman!

Hard is the work for him:

Homer and Analytics

Make his brain to swim.

Conditions throng him,

Tutors wrong him,

And his life is one long woe.

He's always weary,

Sad and dreary,

For they cram him so! (bis.)

Some talk of ease and loafing,

Some laugh at getting through;

But, if you want a sheepskin,

This way will never do.

He writes excuses

When he chooses,

But they will not granted be.

With forced attendance,

Independence

He can never see. (bis.)

TONY TOUGH (condescendingly). Well done, my classmates, noble is the strain!

We are indeed an aggravated race,

And impositions are upon us laid

So heavy that we groan beneath their weight.

I got just twenty in my Latin prose,

Although, by Jove! I wrote a perfect book.

Say, are we men, to suffer grievous wrong,

And if they smite us, sha'n't we smite again?

SEVERAL FRESHMEN. We will!

TONY. Bravo! your courage I applaud.

But what can we few do? The Faculty

Outnumber us by more than ten to one.

SIMPLE SAPLING. What's ten to one to me, or I to ten to one!

The heart that dares is worth a hundred men

Who play the role of tyrants. Know ye not

The story of Rienzi, late of Rome?

A FRESHMAN. 'T is true, I had forgotten that.

TONY.

And I.

But let us swear a great and binding oath

To liberate our comrades from their bonds

Of prayers and recitations numerous.

(They form in a ring, and swear.)

TONY. I weep to see such open-mouthed devotion!

Simple, my boy, have you a cigarette,

That I may calm my heated brain?

SIMPLE SAPLING (sings).

Sweet Caporal and Richmond Gem

And Half and Half Perique,

And Airy Fairy Cigarettes,

I very rarely seek.

Old Judge is good, Perfection too,

Though rather apt to burn;

But for real, solid comfort, give

Me cubebs or sweet fern.

(A low knock is heard. The FRESHMEN disappear into the bedroom and closet. TOUGH opens a book, pretends to study, and says)

Come in!

(Enter a PROCTOR.)

PROCTOR. I beg your pardon, Mr. Tough; but please

To study with more quiet, or I shall

Report you for a private. Sir, good-night. [Exit.

(The Freshmen reappear stealthily.)

TONY. It was the minion of our dire oppressors.

We must shut up; and so I pray you all

Stand not upon the order of your going,

But go at once.

[Exeunt all but SIMPLE SAPLING and TELL.

SAPLING. My name is Sapling; on New Hampshire hills

My father raised his cabbages and corn,

And from the freedom of my native air

I drank in soon the thoughts of liberty.

Your words have pleased me, and I'll now disclose

A plot I've formed.

TELL. Oh, let me join with you!

TONY. I dare do all that may become a man;

Who dares do more is none. So prithee speak.

SAPLING. To-morrow night let's scale old Harvard Hall,

And steal the clapper from the aged bell!

TELL, Oh, my! what fun, but if we should then fail?

SAPLING. Fail! In the lexicon of youth -

TELL. Enough.

SAPLING. Well, then, to-morrow night, at twelve o'clock,

When churchyards yawn, we three will meet again

Hard by the pump. Till then, no word of this

To any mortal ear. Are all agreed?

TOUGH.

TELL.

SAPLING. May fortune favor our design.

We are.

CONSPIRATORS' CHORUS.

We'll rag the bell if all goes well,

And carry off its tongue;

There is no strife too hard in life

For spirits brave and young!

Old Jones will toll, but never a soul

Will hear the metal peal.

We'll lie in bed till the hour has sped,

And not to Chapel steal.

SCENE III.Midnight. The appointed spot. TONY and SAPLING.

TONY. - I wonder where our other comrade is,

'T is nearly twelve, and yet he don't appear,

My heart misgives me lest he prove us false.

SAPLING. Nay, nay, mayhap he has forgotten.

The clock strikes twelve, so let us to our work.

Think of the fame that will to us redound,

And so be up and doing,

(They raise a ladder, and mount to the cupola of Harvard Hall.)

(Enter WATCHMAN and TELL.)

WATCHMAN (sings).

When the busy-plotting Freshman ain't conniving,

ain't conniving,

On some deed he hopes will make his name sublime,

name sublime,

Or to do some noisy action is n't striving,

is n't striving,

I love to hear the merry midnight chime,

midnight chime.

When the Sophie is n't holding a potation,

a potation,

I like to sit and have a quiet smoke,

quiet smoke,

But he has n't got the least consideration,

-sideration,

And the college watchman's life is not a joke,

not a joke.

When the merry Juniors are not bent on yelling,

bent on yelling,

As from operatic meeting they return,

they return,

When the cries of "Fire! Fire!" are not swelling,

are not swelling,

And lower rooms in Hollis cease to burn,

cease to burn;

When the Seniors are not coming home from parties,

home from parties,

All the night until the rising of the sun,

of the sun,

I assure you then that unconcerned my heart is,

-cerned my heart is,

And my life is not a very wretched one,

wretched one!

TELL. Well sung. Why don't you try the stage?

WATCHMAN.

Hush, lad!

This way you said you saw the villains go?

TELL. I did, my lord.

TONY (above). Hark! I heard a voice.

Let us away ere yet we are surprised.

SAPLING. Infirm of purpose! Give to me the file,

And I will cut the tongue. Now to delay

Were madness. Yet a moment, all is well.

O clapper! that hast rung for many years,

And roused the slumbering student from his couch

To plod his weary way across the Yard,

In boots and ulster through great drifts of snow,

I clutch thee in this mighty palm of mine,

And bear thee off as prize! May curses light

On all who shall succeed thee! Hence, away!

(They descend the ladder, and are seized by the WATCHMAN.)

WATCHMAN. Well planned, well done! You 've had your little sport;

Now come with me, and pass the night in jail.

To-morrow, like all felons of your kind,

You 'll pay the penalty of crime, and be

Suspended. Tell, you merit much, my boy,

And shall a detur certainly receive

When your good deeds are presently made known

To all the Faculty.

(He puts handcuffs on the villains.)

TONY (weeping). Please, don't; they're cold!

I did n't mean to do you any wrong,

And but looked on while Simple did the deed.

SIMPLE. Et tu Telle! thou treacherous wight!

Now let me die, for death indeed is sweet.

I thought a hero I perhaps might be.

Now let me die a martyr. So, lead on!

(Curtain falls.)