THE ANNEX ON SUB-FRESHMEN.

GARDEN ST., December 5, 1879.

YOU DEAR, DARLING OLD CRIMSON:-

I write to you because you can't think how fond I am of you, and because I always read you, although Sophie Basdazure (do you know Sophie?) says your general tone is much inferior to that of the Aggravate. Now, you old duck, I 've a little plan, and I want to tell you all about it. I see poor little things wandering about with lots of books under their arms and a very dazed and unhappy expression of countenance. They tell me they are called sub-Freshmen, - things just like Freshmen, only younger and smaller, and trying very hard to be really Freshmen, just like a tadpole tries to be a frog. They have to learn all sorts of things, - Ethics and Dentistry and Agriculchar, and another kind of culchar that they learn in the pretty building with the bell. Among other things, they have to learn Geography. Now I never could remember all those colors on the map, - could you? Green for Arizona and blue for Oregon. I have a pair of - Oh! bless me, I quite forgot - so I 've thought of a way to interest the poor little things. Make nice pretty verses about all the places, and they 'll learn a good deal about them and the people too. This way, for instance; this one 's a perfect beauty:-

There was an old man of Trieste,

Who said, "I will pull down my vest."

But his daughter said, "Papa,

The action 's improper,

And I hope that you 'll give us a rest."

That shows them something of the local color. Here 's another:-

A young Russian girl of Odessa

Eloped with a Harvard Professor;

But she very soon found

She was horribly ground,

So took up with a Father Confessor.

And my aunt, a sweet old lady - come round to tea some Sunday evening, and I'll introduce you - composed this:-

There once was two cats in Kilkenny;

Each thought there was one cat too many;

So they quarrelled and fit,

They fought and they bit,

Till excepting their nails,

And the tips of their tails,

Instead of two cats there warn't any.

Now I want you to print this, like an old dear, because you 're so full of influence and bright ideas and cleverness and things, that everybody minds everything you say, at least the Faculty and the Bursar do. But I must n't chatter. There's that darling Professor Giggles calling me for Domestic Astronomy.

Yours, most gushingly and enthusiastically,

MARIA THERESA LAETITIA JUCUNDA ANNE X.