THE AGED CALLER.

THREE came a confidential knock at the door the other afternoon, followed, with scarce a pause for an answer, by the entrance of a little old man. Closing the door behind him with brisk gentleness, he glided forward, and with the smile and manner of an old family friend, said, "Had your head examined? guess I didn't see you t' other day; have n't had your head examined, have you?" Politely motioning toward a friend who happened to be in the room, I pretended to be absorbed in my book. Renardy was in an easy-chair by the window, closely studying a work by an author popular among students of the Classics, and occasionally glancing for explanation of difficult passages at a little book on the same subject, written by one Tacitus, which he held in his other hand. As the old gentleman turned to him, he wearily laid down his book, and settled his features into that cast-iron expression which is reserved expressly for such visitors.

"Ah!" said the little man, "you 're desirous of submitting your head to the skilful manipulation of an experienced phrenologist. There's lots of lives wasted because people don't find out what they 're fitted for and what they ain't. Now I, sir, who have been a professor of this science for thirty-seven years and eight months will unfold to you, for the paltry sum of fifty cents, truths about yourself worth millions. Here, sir, is the most valuable thing you ever saw."

Renardy took advantage of a moment's pause to say that he had seen some pretty valuable things.

"Eh?" said the old man, drawing up a chair and cosily seating himself at Renardy's elbow, while he produced a pamphlet from his little black valise, - "eh? Well, you never saw anything so valuable as this. Here's George Washington, the Father of his Country; there's his moral nature, very large - veneration, conscientiousness, could n't tell a lie, you know, when his father -"

"Yes, yes," said Renardy.

"Here's Franklin," confidentially remarked the old man, hitching his chair up closer, - "individuality, perception, lightning was his playground, you know; economy, - Poor Richard's Almanac's right there, you see. Here's the murderer of a whole family; destructiveness right in his head, - never had it examined, and so had to be hanged. That's a perfect woman's head, imaginary; don't make 'em that way nowadays, you know."

"Look here," interrupted Renardy, "why are you, an old gray haired man, travelling around the country and talking like that? How did you ever get away from your friends?"

"Here's the head of a full grown idiot," said the old man, eagerly, "and here's a celebrated thief and liar, I don't know but what you knew him, he - "

"I'll tell you what," said Renardy; "there's the man you want to see, over in the corner. He's been asking me who knew enough, around here, to examine heads. He can't find his proper sphere. Sometimes he thinks he was originally intended to be the idol of his country, down in Washington; and then again he tries to convince me that he's just the man for assistant librarian; but I don't think he's got presence and majesty enough for that. Just bring the result of your long study and remarkable ability to bear on him. I have n't got time, just now, to figure up the precise value of your service to him, but - " I went into another room and closed the door.

"No," the old man was saying as I came back, - "no, I don't think you 've rightly chosen your path in life. You 're scarcely fitted for the ministry. Spirituality - you see, - reverence, veneration, very small and there 's development here," passing his hand over the back of Renardy's head and neck; "that the Boston folks, you know, don't like in their ministers, though it's popular enough down in Brooklyn. You 'd make a good soldier, now, - large nose - "

"Yes, I guess that's so," broke in Renardy. "And now, aged phrenologist, were I master of these spacious apartments, I should first entertain you with biscuits and sherry, and then request you to bestow your valuable presence elsewhere. As the matter stands, let me refer you to this gentleman, who has been eagerly waiting till you were at leisure and he could pour into your sympathetic ear something that's on his mind."

"Yes," said I, "venerable sir, there is a kindness and generosity sticking out all over you which encourages me in what I am about to say. I know you like the students, and I know they like you."

"They can't help it," interrupted the old man; "I'm their benefactor."

"I knew it," I resumed. "That's what they all say. And what I want to speak to you about is this: you know we had to spend a great deal of money for boating last year, and this year we 're kind of hard up; and we thought some of the friends outside, who think so much of us, might like - "

"What time did you say it was?" anxiously asked the old man. "Bless me! and I haven't made anything this afternoon. Did you put that valise anywhere? O yes." And mournfully and quickly he glided out, and closed the door gently behind him, as before.