LETTERS TO A FRESHMAN.

VIII.

DEAR JACK, - If you have ever amused yourself by comparing your own countrymen with the rest of the world, you will no doubt have found that the American is the most one-sided being on earth. If he is a man of business, he is a man of business and nothing more; his whole time, as well as his whole mind, is filled with his means of livelihood, and he cannot spare a moment for anything not connected with money-making. If he is a man of leisure, and, as rarely happens, has nothing to do, he consistently does, thinks, and accomplishes absolutely nothing. The idea of combining business and pleasure, or leisure and some rational occupation, never occurs to him.

I do not intend to bore you with philosophy, - with my peculiar views of the causes and effects of this state of things. I am only going to use this statement as an introduction to a warning lecture, which I sincerely hope that you will read. For a man's life cannot help being more or less evident in his appearance and his conversation; and a person whose existence is as deliberately monotonous as that of most of our compatriots will almost infallibly wear the same coat from morning till night, and talk nothing but shop. I have lately been reminded of this fact, in a rather disagreeable way, by meeting a certain number of college men. As I felt some interest in what was going on in Cambridge, I tried to talk with them upon the subject; and I found them, without exception, to be as one-sided as business men of fifty years' standing. Brown, who was something of an athlete, could tell me a little about the nine, and the crew, and that sort of thing; but there his information ended. Stiggs, a somewhat different character, confined his thoughts and his talk to recent philological discoveries, and to certain occult events in mediaeval history. And the one man who seemed to have a little general information turned out to be the editor of a paper, so that, after all, he was talking shop too.

At the same time my powers of conversation were utterly insufficient to induce them to talk intelligently upon any subject that I could think of, other than college matters. And, as a matter of course, they resented the slightest difference of opinion, or, if they happened to be particularly amiable, they mercifully attributed it to the senile idiocy incident to my advanced years.

If I have not already impressed upon you the folly of expressing an idea, which is not absolutely demanded, in the least different from that which happens to be popular, let me do it now. You will at once be set down for either a bore or a fool, and you will find neither reputation to your advantage. You need not think with the rest of the world, but it does not pay to tell them that you don't.

Although, as I have said, people in this part of the world usually talk shop, and nothing else, there are a few bright exceptions to this rule, - there are a few who have made it their business to get hold of a good deal of general information, and who are sensible enough to keep it to themselves when it is not asked for. And this blessed few, when they find themselves in a company where shop must perforce be talked, are willing to talk your shop instead of their own. To mention names would be invidious, but I think that you will remember one or two people of this sort. And you ought to make it your business to imitate them.

If you have any business, never speak of it out of business hours. Change your clothes when your work is over. I have known some ordinarily stupid men to be witty in evening dress. Pick up all the information that comes in your way. Reading, I know, is often a bore; but it is not difficult to supply its place with the aid of the American one-sidedness of some talkative old specialist. If you want to know something about a legal point, you had better ask a question or two, and start off an amiable lawyer on his profession. If you want some information about art, do the same with an artist. And in general, it will pay to get out of your fellow-beings all the information that they will give you. If you can make other people do your reading for you it will save your eyes, and a good deal of trouble besides.

As you have no doubt perceived, I am in a very prosy vein to-day, and I shall cut my letter short, for fear that you will apply to it my remarks about the bore of reading. My advice to you is simply to play the part of a social chameleon. Adapt yourself to the company that you are in. If you can talk their shop-talk, talk it with them. If you cannot talk it, listen to them. But never assert yourself in opposition without real reason. Keep your ears open. Remember as much that you hear as possible, and don't speak it out at the wrong moment. Don't swear too often, for it spoils the effect of an oath, and besides it is rather vulgar. Don't use inappropriate slang, - such as "thundering quiet." Don't acquire the horribly unnatural emphasis of New England. And believe me ever

Your affectionate brother,

PHILIP.