Bean Boots Blues

Harvard's beloved fashion statement By Eva S. Monroe and Ignacio Sabate

Over the past year, Harvard has seen a massive influx of what some students call “duck boots.” These handmade, lumberjack-style boots from L. L. Bean are so popular that if you buy a pair of boots now, you can expect to be put on a waitlist of over 100,000 people. Here’s Flyby’s take on the boots’ recent rise to fame:

Nothing on this side of the eastern coast
Can try to match your combinations of
So confident in creaky leather shape
And all assured in your webbed rubber soles.

Oh, why do people love you so damn much?
The stores can’t even deal with your demand
You have the insulating properties
Of your old pset you never got to finish.

Our school is known for its diversity
With people from all different backgrounds
Yet every single kid here has you
That hideous old duck shoe.

Dear boots, oh man, you really bring me down
You’re ugly and far too pricey too
You make all of the other boots so jealous
I half expect your wearers to just quack.

Stop buying Bean Boots.