Pfoho Issues Travel Advisory To River

Relations continued to deteriorate between the Quad and the River on Wednesday evening as the Pforzheimer Department of Pfublic Safety issued a travel advisory to its residents regarding unnecessary travel to Houses currently in conflict with Currier.

"Please be advised that at 2:28 p.m. this afternoon, Winthrop House declared war on Lowell House," the advisory read. "We recommend that any Pfohosers who visit these active war zones practice extreme caution in avoiding sewage and cockroaches." The degree to which Pforzheimer and other Quadlings are heeding the advisory is currently unclear.

As always, more updates to come.