Be Harvard’s Top Assassin: Naked Ambition

Have an epic Assassin’s kill to share? You can still submit your story for the chance to be Harvard’s Top Assassin! This week, we share with you a submission from Luke A. Salisbury '12 that shows that a true assassin will use everything from nunchucks to nudity—whatever it takes to get the job done.

If you had looked carefully toward Old Quincy, entryway D at around 9:45 p.m. on April 15, you could have caught a glimpse of the greatest naked assassination of 2010. This battle took place between two agents who were close friends, 00 agents, and roommates. The victim was Jacob M. Viramontes '12, the 00 agent for team Quantom of Panic. The assailants consisted of the the team Bloodbath and Beyond (BBB), which included Agent Neil T. "Classy" Curran '12, Agent Collin A. "Kooky" Jones '12 , and Agent Luke A. "Mountain Main" Salisbury '12.

At 9:49 p.m., Agent Salisbury stripped off every article of clothing (Quincy Assassins rule #11, "The Naked Rule," states that a player who is entirely naked may not be shot) and boldly walked into entryway D. Private intelligence provided by a non-player informed BBB that Agent Viramontes was in room D-14 (an unsafe territory for all players involved), waiting for Salisbury to try entering D-13, the room he shares with Viramontes. Salisbury walked to his room and pretended to try the door, luring Viramontes out of D-14. Agents Curran and Jones were close behind, up against the wall of the hallway and out of range of any potential shots from Viramontes.

After several failed (and illegal) attempts to kill the safe and naked Salisbury, Viramontes leaned too far out of D-14 and was promptly attacked and killed by Jones' melee weapon. At this point, Viramontes sheepishly walked out of D-14, acknowledging his death and congratulating BBB.

Salisbury, willing to expose himself for the sake of the team—choosing to go balls to the wall for Quincy Assassins—had made this fantastic attack possible.

Team Bloodbath and Beyond, congratulations on the ingenious kill. This and other entries are in the running for Harvard’s Top Assassin. Submit your story now!

Photo by Kane Hsieh/The Harvard Crimson.