Attending Harvard Together, Siblings Support One Another

Empty SUVs and tearful goodbyes—the scene is a familiar one for the many students arriving at Harvard each year. Parents drive away, slip into cabs, or disappear into a subway station, leaving students to face a new town, a new roommate, and the long-awaited ideal of life at college.

For those unaccustomed to independence, the college experience presents an entirely new lifestyle and sense of responsibility—whether they are ready for it or not.

Students face tough choices during their first year—both in academics and extracurricular activities—all the while adjusting to the challenges and rigors of Harvard’s arguably intense freshman year.

While the College makes an effort to support first years when they arrive, certain students walk on campus with a built in support network—their siblings.

For freshmen like Petra B. Janney ’14 and Alex M. Stanton ’14, the transition to life at Harvard was less overwhelming—and in more ways than one.

This fall, the two girls joined older brothers Niall M. Janney ’12 and Michael J. Stanton ’13 at Harvard, with these brothers not only becoming a source of familiarity and advice but also the girls’ teammates on Harvard’s swimming and diving team.

But going to school with one’s older sibling has its caveats. Having an older brother in the same zip-code may ease the transition to college, but it can also mean an occasionally watchful eye and a looming presence.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

For some freshmen, contact with advisers is limited, partially because some students are paired with academic advisers outside their specific field of interest. For Petra and Alex, this is where a sibling at Harvard can make all the difference.

The Advising Programs Office provides freshmen with a network of advisers—a proctor, a freshman academic adviser, a peer advising fellow, and a resident dean of freshmen. According to the APO, these advisers are supposed to provide first-year students with resources for both academic and non-academic advice.

But even with the APO’s extensive advising network, it is hard to compete with a sibling’s advice.

“Niall knows me much better than my advisor. Though he has been here for a shorter amount of time, he knows how to help me personally,” Petra says. “He’s also involved in the same sport as me, so he has dealt with a lot of my specific concerns.”

Alex described her brother’s role as very similar, especially early in the semester. “He really helped me adjust, and any question I had I knew I could go to him and he had been through something similar,” she says. “And with diving, he helped me figure out my routine and schedule.”

‘I KNOW WHAT GUYS THINK’

But Niall, Petra’s older brother, admits he had some apprehensions about having his sister join him in a college social environment.

“There were concerns because I had never really hung out with her in a social setting,” he admits. “At home you’re kind of in a family setting, and it’s more of a family relationship.”

But Niall says that being in a college setting has allowed him to see a side of his sister he never knew before.

“The only problem is that I’m super protective,” Niall admits. “So as much as I love going out and partying with Petra, I have to grit my teeth a little bit because I’m a guy and I know what guys think.”

And while having a protective older brother as a part of college social life would frustrate some, Petra says it doesn’t bother her.

“I know he is there whenever I need him and that is more important than worrying about him being overprotective,” she says. “I see it as support more than protection because I know he will be there no matter what.”

THE COLLEGE RELATIONSHIP

In high school, Alex and her brother Michael became close friends and started moving in the same social circle. With only a year separating them, what began as a close brother-sister relationship became a tight-knit friendship.

“Our group of friends overlapped a lot and we were friends with each other’s friends,” she says. “It got to a point that I could call his best friends to hang out even if he wasn’t there.”

And this year is no different. “I have become friends with all his friends again,” she says. “They have all become extended brothers to me, just like it was in high school.”

Michael agrees and says that having Alex join him this September was like falling back into old routines.

“It was like having one of my best friends from high school coming to college with me, except a year late,” he says. “Our relationship has stayed the exact same.”

But for Niall and Petra being together at college has changed their relationship.

“I feel like we relate to each other better here,” Petra says. “I don’t really know why.”

Niall shares similar feelings. “In the short time we’ve been here, we have already become so much closer,” he says. “I think it’s because we can rely on each other and we know we have each other’s backs.”

But such a close relationship can have its drawbacks with an older brother’s presence hanging over his younger sister.

“His friends will call me ‘little Stanton,’ but I don’t just want to be seen as Michael’s little sister,” Alex says. “I think it is important to make sure people see me as a different person.”

Petra shared the same concern. “I guess the worst thing about having a sibling at Harvard is that a lot of people know me as ‘Niall’s little sister’,” she says. “It doesn’t bother me that much, but it gets annoying if that’s the only way people know me.”

But Niall and Michael say that having their younger sisters on campus has its benefits for them.

“If I ever really need to talk to someone I can call Alex and she can come over and just chill, whether I’m bored, anxious, upset, anything,” Michael says. “Last year I would call her occasionally, but this year she is literally right there.”

Niall shares similar sentiments. “When you hit that low, or better yet that all-time high, there is someone there to congratulate you,” he says. “It hasn’t happened to me yet, but it is just comforting to know that my sister is here for whatever happens.”

—Staff writer Rachael E. Apfel can be reached at rachaelapfel@college.harvard.edu.