Top Five Hipsters in Cambridge

I’ll admit, I wear my thick-rimmed glasses with pride; I cherish the sweaters I found tucked in the corner of Goodwill that some, probably far more rational person deemed too ugly and hideously 80s to be worn in public. When my father, perplexed by my most recent fashion choice asked me to describe what on earth I was wearing, I told him it was the latest in hipster fashion. My father then inquired what it meant to be a hipster. I stuttered, until I finally explained the term hipster was deceiving. In truth there are many subsets of the hipster culture. Here is my attempt to demystify a few found here in Cambridge:

1. The Intellectual Hipster

Most likely a philosophy or English concentrator. Would be happy to debate Tolstoy v. Dostoyevsky. Finds mainstream music offensive. Dreams of being an expatriate or working at The New Yorker. Wears a uniform of skinny jeans, scarves and vintage glasses. BMI: 0. Can be found at Café Pamplona.

2. The Dirty Hipster

For the dirty hipster, man or woman, it’s no-shave November year round. Date of last bath: unknown. Usually vegan, enjoys long hikes and getting in touch with nature. Inexplicably wears plaid flannel shirts in the summer.

3. The Urban Outfitters Hipster

Only shops at Urban Outfitters because they “stole” their style. Might have a trust-fund. Can be found at Café Pamplona.

4. The Death to the Man Hipster

Anti-establishment—actually anti-everything. Probably a member of the communist party. Do not under any circumstances ask them about their viewpoints unless you have time for an hour-long diatribe that will probably conclude with how Starbucks is ruining the world. Thinks they are better than you because they only shop local and organic. Can be found at Café Pamplona.

5. The Emo Hipster

The emo hipster is more of a transitional phase. Most often they are high school students. Speaks loudly of their love for Bright Eyes and MGMT, so everyone can admire their musical knowledge. Can be found in The Garage (soon to graduate to Café Pamplona).

—Erika P. Pierson is the outgoing Columns Editor and Comp Director. Her life goal is to have a drink named after her at Pamplona.