Perfection Out, Failure In?

Rather than striving for perfection at Harvard the most important element in student success might be the ability to fail. When a small group of self-proclaimed perfectionists gathered at the Bureau of Study Counsel this spring to participate in a workshop titled “Perfectionism: A Double-Edged Sword,” the argument that I presented was simple: “You have excelled and made it to Harvard despite, rather than because of, your perfectionist habits.” The students expressed their skepticism about my statement, but seemed intrigued when I told them research has shown that perfectionist attitudes actually interfere with success.

In a society in which perfection is often seen as desirable or even necessary for success (and in which such expectations are also apparent in an increasingly competitive college admissions process), it is not surprising that more students than ever seem to struggle with perfectionist habits. But there is a difference between striving for excellence, even striving for perfection, and suffering from perfectionism.

Perfectionist attitudes are marked by a number of negative feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. Such attitudes can rob students of personal satisfaction so that even when they achieve tremendous success, they can’t appreciate it.

At Harvard, the combination of a population of high-achieving students and a competitive academic environment makes it challenging to promote excellence in learning rather than a perfect GPA as a means to success. Recently a student shared with me her curiosity when her Expository Writing teacher made a point of encouraging students to take the time to read and consider the feedback he had written on their midterm papers rather than just paying attention to the grade, which the teacher felt was meaningless in comparison. It is this kind of encouragement with regard to the process of learning that needs to be valued at Harvard. It is my opinion that this is something that deserves the attention of university counselors, mental health professionals, faculty, advisors, deans, proctors, tutors, and students alike.

Myths about perfectionism are common among students. One myth I hear often is, “I wouldn’t have gotten into Harvard if I weren’t such a perfectionist.” Another is, “My perfectionism ensures that I get things done right; my success depends on my perfectionism.” In reality, perfectionists may be no more successful than their equally motivated but less perfectionistic peers. Perfectionists often have problems with procrastination, missed deadlines, paralyzing self-criticism, high stress levels, and low productivity.

Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish motivation for healthy achievement from perfectionism. One of the main markers of perfectionism is a tendency towards all-or-nothing thinking. Events and experiences are seen as either all good or all bad, perfect or imperfect, with nothing in between—if something can’t be done perfectly, it’s not worth doing. I hear many students who struggle with this way of thinking talk about turning in a paper weeks late (or not at all) rather than turning it in on time if it’s less-then-perfect. Others talk about spending so much time agonizing over some non-critical detail that they can’t move on to other important tasks, or they miss out on the opportunity to think deeply about the topic. Perfectionism here interferes both with meaningful learning and with successfully accomplishing one’s goals.

Some students tell me that they are driven to succeed, but there is a distinction between having drive and being driven. Driven, perfectionistic students can be especially vulnerable to academic and personal difficulties such as writer’s block, performance and social anxiety, stress, compulsive behaviors, and depression. A relentless focus on the perfect end product (a grade, a class ranking, the perfect paper), fueled by a fear of failure, can block the productivity and achievement that comes from engaging and persisting in the process of learning. Learning at one’s cutting edge inherently involves experimentation, fumbling, and mistakes—even failures.

This is one reason it is so hard to let go of our perfectionist habits, because overcoming perfectionism means accepting our imperfection, our humanness, our permanent status as life-long learners. It is often the case that perfectionists feel they are valued by others only because of how much they accomplish or achieve. This can make it difficult to appreciate the process as well as the product of one’s efforts, and even more difficult to determine what you want to accomplish for yourself rather than for the approval of others.

Perfectionists believe that success, acceptance, and fulfillment will come from having a perfect record and or being the perfect son/daughter/student. But what does it mean to be “perfect”? This question may be at the heart of the difference between great achievement and unproductive perfectionism. Certainly, many of our greatest advances in society have been accomplished while striving to perfect ourselves. Great achievers, like perfectionists, want to do and be better. But unlike perfectionists, great achievers understand that making mistakes and risking failure are important, even necessary, parts of the process of striving for excellence. If we are to support student’s academic and personal success, then we must also encourage students to embrace their imperfections, to take risks in their pursuit of excellence, and to welcome mistakes and failures along the way as invaluable opportunities for growth and learning.

I posed a question to the group of students sitting with me in the workshop: “What are the costs and benefits of trying to be perfect?” And together we began to talk about the meaning of achievement and success in our lives, the pitfalls of perfectionism, the lessons to be learned from failures as well as successes, and how we might strive for excellence in our work and our lives in healthy, satisfying, productive ways. For a bunch of high-achieving perfectionists, this kind of exploration takes real courage. But when it results in deeply meaningful, personal, and sometimes hilarious, insights, that’s perfect.



Jennifer C. Page, Ph.D, is a counselor at the Bureau of Study Counsel. .