News

When Professors Speak Out, Some Students Stay Quiet. Can Harvard Keep Everyone Talking?

News

Allston Residents, Elected Officials Ask for More Benefits from Harvard’s 10-Year Plan

News

Nobel Laureate Claudia Goldin Warns of Federal Data Misuse at IOP Forum

News

Woman Rescued from Freezing Charles River, Transported to Hospital with Serious Injuries

News

Harvard Researchers Develop New Technology to Map Neural Connections

Rumin Coak, Untried Haitian Zombie, Steps Into Hu Flung's Shoes as Gridiron Expert

By Radio TO The crimson

ABOARD PLANE OVER THE BAHAMAS, Oct. 25--Rumin Coak, hollowchested, sunken-eyed, eight-feet zombie from the mystic voodooland of Haiti, has agreed to replace Hu Flung Hucy ocC as CRIMSON prognosticator. He is already flying north with us, alongside this DC-4 clipper.

(Associated Press reported that the plane was due in Idlewild Airport, New York City, at 10:35 a.m. today.)

Coak, who speaks only a bastard calypso, has predicted mango and artichoke plagues with 94 percent accuracy since he was burned for wizardry in 1874.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags